Date Your Wife: 24-hour Date!

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photo © 2009 Robbert van der Steeg | more info (via: Wylio)
I came across a date idea in an article from "The Nest" and thought I would share it because I really like the idea - A 24-hour Date!

We often talk about Date Nights, or sometimes even weekend getaways, but somewhere in the middle you find 24-hour dates.  They are more doable then weekend getaways, but more special that the standard weekly/bi-weekly/monthly date

When was the last time you spent 24 hours "dating" your wife? ...When was the last time you even spent 24-hours WITH your wife?

What Qualities Does Your Wife Want in a Husband?

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photo © 2009 epSos .de | more info (via: Wylio)
A couple months ago I created a survey for wives, so I could learn a little bit more about what is important to them in a husband as well as to glean some of the greatest opportunities that we have to become better husbands. Currently, 48 wives have taken this survey, and I think we can learn a lot from the results.

I am going to be sharing some insights from the survey with you through a series of posts. For this first one we will focus on the following survey question:

Matt Hasselbeck, XXXChurch, and National Porn Sunday

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photo © 2006 Mister Leung | more info (via: Wylio) I've always liked Matt Hasselbeck, but a few days ago I found another reason to like him.  Not only like him, but I truly admire him now.  Here's why...

I was listening to local Sports Talk radio here in seattle and they were talking about Hasselbeck's involvement with XXXChurch and National Porn Sunday.  So, I did a little more research and found this CNN Article which goes into more detail about it.

The XXXChurch is described as "Christian group that... helps people battling pornography addictions." They are the organizing National Porn Sunday.  As you may already know, Sunday is also Super Bowl Sunday. XXXChurch is planning on using the Super Bowl as a "way to get churches around the country talking about pornography." To do this, professional football players were recruited to be a part of the video that will be broadcast to over 300 churches nationwide.

Be a Better Father by Taking Care of Yourself

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If you've flown before (and actually paid attention to the safety announcements or safety cards) you know that in the event that the cabin should loose air pressure, oxygen masks will fall from the ceiling.  You also know that the bags will not inflate and you are to put your mask on first BEFORE assisting others with you (even your children).  I think this also applies to a lot of aspects of parenting. If you are going to be the best father you can be, you have got to take care of yourself.

Valentine's Day Ideas for Your Wife

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photo © 2006 Rebecca Partington | more info (via: Wylio) If I've learned nothing else from my marriage, I've learned this: Valentines day is still important after marriage. Men often go all out for their girlfriends or women they may be trying to convince to be their girlfriends, but some men forget the basics after they get married. Make Valentine's Day special for your wife!

So how do you do that?

When I asked my wife about what we should do for this upcoming Valentine's Day, she said "nothing, we have no time, money, or sleep!" While all of this is true, I'm pretty sure I can come up with something she will love! No matter your circumstances or situation, you know your wife and I'm confident you can make her feel special, at least for one day!

Here's a few Valentines Day tips and ideas -

Marital Privacy: Self-Disclosure

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I stumbled upon this article from The Chicago Tribune about a how to have more happiness in marriage.  It's main point was to express that "consistent, quality conversation" can improve your marriage.  However, it mentioned something in passing that I think deserves more attention AND acts as a good follow-up to my post last week about privacy in marriage.

Top 5 Posts of 2010

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I realize that I am a little bit late with this "top posts of 2010" post, but I still wanted to do it! Since I started this blog in May 2010, this list is also the top 5 blog posts of all time! If you haven't read these posts you probably should. So without further ado...

Date Your Wife Date Idea - Dessert!

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Dessert is a great date idea ...and not only because it is delicious!  Dessert is somewhat of a novelty around our house (although we seemed to have more when my wife was pregnant!) espcially when it comes to professionally made desserts.

How Much Privacy Should You have in Marriage?

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photo © 2008 Rob Pongsajapan | more info (via: Wylio)

I have been pretty busy welcoming a new son into the world, but I been catching bit and pieces of a news story that has definitely got my attention, so I thought I would weigh in with my thoughts.

As you might has guessed, it is the pending case in Michigan against husband, Leon Walker.  You can find a pretty good summary of it here, but if you haven't heard, the gist of it is that he is being sued because he read his wife's e-mail (and found out that yes, in fact she was having an affair).  I don't really want to discuss much about the legal nuances of the case, but it has brought up an interesting question: How much privacy do/should we have from our spouse?

How Do You Date Your Wife?

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I've been doing a weekly Date Your Wife post for some time now.  I've have shared with you many of my dates with my wife, but it has gotten me thinking... What do you do to date your wife?

Therefore, I am asking you to send me some of your most fun dates and I will feature them on a Friday for my weekly Date Your Wife date idea!  I will include links to your blogs, sites, Twitter, or whatever you would like! 

Please send your date ideas to: eric@betterhusbandsandfathers.com

What are you waiting for? ...send me a date idea!  I am looking froward to getting some great new ideas for my wife and I to use!

Wordless Wednesday: My New Son

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Introducing the Preemie Dads Blog

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I want to introduce you to my new blog project - The Preemie Dads Blog!

I have been thinking about doing something like this for some time now, but I guess the pending premature birth of my 2nd son was enough to kick me in gear (it's happening tomorrow - Tuesday 1/4).  My ultimate goal and vision for "PreemieDads" is for it to be a place for support and resources for Dads with Preemies in the NICU and Beyond. I also have included a discussion boardf to help build the community!

With the blog, I have started a new twitter account - @PreemieDads.  So go follow me (especially tomorrow it is from this account that I will be providing updates about my new son.

So if you are a preemie dad, going to be a preemie dad, know a preemie dad, or are interested in preemies or dads, head over and check it out!!

Resolve to be a Better Husband and Father in 2011 and Beyond!

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The beginning of a new year brings exciting opportunities to start fresh. For years, people have used January 1st to decide to be a better person.  So this year (like every year) resolve to be a Better Husband and Father!

To give you some ideas of where to start, I am going to give you a sneak peak of the results from a survey of I have conducted with about 40 wives.  Here is one of the questions I asked:

Wordless Wednesday: Preemie Flashback

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We just found out that due to numerous complication and pre-term contractions my wife is having that our second son will be born next week.  My wife will be 35 weeks along.  Our first son was born at 30 weeks, so we are much more comfortable with 35, but he's still a preemie and we are praying that we don't have to spend much time in the NICU!  In honor of that, this is a picture of my son about 2 months old, cannot believe how huge his clothes were!

5 Ways to be a Better Husband: #5 - Date Your Wife

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The final installment in the  Top 5 Ways to be a Better Husband series.

#1 - Saying "I love you"
#2 - Service
#3 - Hold Hands
#4 -  Surprises!

 #5 - Date Night
I love Date Night! One of the first things that I did when I start this blog was to include a weekly Date Your Wife date idea (see the Date Your Wife Archive page). I think that when you spend regular quality time with your wife, it will pay huge dividends in your relationship.

Merry Christmas!

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photo © 2009 Jeff Weese | more info (via: Wylio)

"For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord."

~Merry Christmas from the Better Husbands and Fathers Blog~

Spiritual Thought: CHRISTmas

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It's easy (and sorts of cliche) to say things like "remember the reason for the season" and "keep Christ in Christmas."  You've heard all this before so instead of pleading with you to remember Christ, I just wanted to share with you some of my thoughts about Christ, His birth, His life, and His divinity.

Date Your Wife: Chose Your Own Adventure

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The Date: A while back I read a great date idea from my friend Brent over at GreatDateSpot.com, in which he created a "choose your own adventure" date! I always say that the most creative dates are the most fun (...and I'm not them most creative guy, so that's why I have to get these ideas from guys like Brent!).  So how would you go about creating a choose your own adventure date? let's here it from Brent...

Wordless Wednesday: Merry Christmas!

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5 Ways to be a Better Husband: #4 - Surprises!

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The latest post in the  Top 5 Ways to be a Better Husband series.

#1 - Saying "I love you"
#2 - Service
#3 - Hold Hands

#4 -  Surprises!
All women feel love differently. However, all women loved to get surprised.  What the surprise is will vary from wife to wife, but I believe all wives enjoy a good surprise.  A surprise breaks the routine of everyday life and  It shows your wife that you are thinking about her.

Date Your Wife: Dance Lessons

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*Note: Due to the fact that my wife is on bedrest I will be posting date ideas, but we won't necessarily be doing them ourselves.  This doesn't mean I won't be dating my wife, but it means I want to provide date idea where you can get off the couch and leave the house once in a while! These dates ideas will come from dates we've done in the past or ones I'd like to do in the future.  In addition, if you have a great date idea, e-mail it to me (eric@betterhusbandsandfathers.com) and I may just post it as my weekly date idea!

The Date: About a year ago, I bought a gift certificate at a ballroom dance studio for 4 lessons!  We enjoyed date night dancing for an entire month.  I can tell that some of you guys are going to be a little put-off about the idea, but trust be, it is fun and you will enjoy it.

Christmas Gift Ideas for your Wife

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The pressure is on.  It is almost 2 weeks to Christmas and you still haven't gotten anything for your wife for Christmas. I'm not feeling the heat as much this year, because we have decided to not get each other gifts (or have a $10 limit).  Most of us husbands, however, should be buying our wife gifts (yes plural!) and what you give your wife can speak volumes!

This is a Husband...This is a Husband on Stress

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Every Marriage has its stressful times.  This could be due to a number of different reasons (though my guess is 90% of the time is has to do with children ...or bearing them).  Well, right now is one of those times for us, and its in those time when you can really tell who you are as a husband and father; and where you may still need to improve. Are you the same husband during periods of high stress?

Date Your Wife: Frozen Yogurt

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The Date:I have not mentioned much about it here, but if you follow me on Twitter, you know that my wife has been put on bed-rest, most likely for the remainder of her pregnancy.  This, of course, complicates things when you are trying to plan dates for every weekend!

Wordless Wednesday: Snow Day!

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I Need Your Help!

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Thanks to you and your nominations (and maybe one of mine too!) The Better Husbands and Fathers Blog is a finalist to be one of Top Marriage Blogs for 2010!!  Go visit this page and vote ---> The Top 10 Marriage Blog Finalists for 2010 (and while your there, check out 40+ other blogs that have been nominated!) I have only been blogging since May and this is just the kind of boost my blog needs, so if you enjoy my content, please go vote for Better Husband and Fathers!

A big thanks to Stu Gray (aka The Marry Blogger) for hosting this event.  In addition to posting great content on his own blog, he is one of most well respected leaders in the Marriage Blogging community.

Go Vote for Better Husbands and Fathers.  When you do, please come back and tell me that you did, so I can thank you!

5 Ways to be a Better Husband: #3 - Hold Hands

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I know it has been a while, but today we finally continue on the Top Five Ways to be a Better Husband series.

#1 - Saying "I love you"
#2 - Service

#3 - Hold Hands (or other frequent non-sexual touch)
Holding hands seems like such a simple thing - because it is! This is one of the pieces of advice that my own mother gave me before I got married and one that she and my father exemplify. I think this is important to do for 3 reasons - 1) It is a public display of your affection for your wife.  It displays love to her and to those around you, 2) It creates a bond between you only achieved through physical touch, and 3) It is hard to stay mad at someone when you're holding their hand.

Date Your Wife: Harry Potter Marathon!

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The Date: While I have not ready any of the Harry Potter books, I have seen all the movies and actually quite enjoy them.  However, I have yet to see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 1.  So in preparation, we are going to have a mini Harry Potter Marathon!

Preemie Dad, Johnny Bowen, Shares his Story

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Johnny is a father of a preemie, born at 30 weeks.  I recently met Johnny via Twitter (@johnnyb4577) and have been impressed with his desire to reach out and connect with other preemie dads, so if you one, go follow him! I really appreciate Johnny's story because it brings me back to my NICU days, read his story below to get a good taste of what its like being a working dad with a baby in the NICU.

Giving Thanks on Thanksgiving!

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HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!

I want to take a quick break from my Preemie Dads week, to write a quick thanksgiving post and to tell you all about a few things I'm thankful for right now (but don't worry we'll have another Preemie Dad post tomorrow!).

Preemie Dads: Meet Marc Mapes

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Today's featured Preemie Dad is Marc Mapes.  You can follow him on twitter @marcmapes and he blogs here. As you will read Marc is the father of a premature son - a 28 weeker!  Marc and I have similar stories, in fact, both of our wives are pregnant again and are about 30 weeks along - Congratulations to Marc and his wife for a more successful pregnancy this time around and good luck the rest of the way!

Meet Tom (@Dad_U), a Preemie Dad

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Tom (aka @Dad_U on Twitter) is a father to a Preemie daughter and He blogs over at Dad-U.com.  At the end, he provides some great suggestions on how to survive the NICU.  Many of the thoughts and challanges he expresses are common among Preemie Dads, so pay attention to what he says, it includes some great insights into the struggles of preemie Dads.

Preemie Dad: @aspieme, Father to a 27 - weeker!

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Our first Preemie Dad of the week is known as @aspieme on Twitter.  He is a dad of a 27-weeker and shares some great insights and perspectives on being a Dad to a preemie!

Introducing a Week of Preemie Dads!!

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As we all know, the blog-o-sphere is dominated by Moms, while the Dad's perspective is just starting to find a place.  As I've mentioned many times before, Prematurity Awareness Month  is November, and last Wednesday (11/17) was Prematurity Awareness Day.  This was my first Awareness Day as a blogger and I was happy to share the story of my preemie son to the world. Through this experience, I noticed that the Fathers of preemies don't have much of a voice, so this week, the last week of Prematurity Awareness Month, I wanted to give some Preemie Dads a voice!

Date Your Wife: Weekend Trip

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The Date: After having lived in Seattle for most of my life I have not yet visited Portland! So we decided we would make a little weekend trip South to Portland!  Its only a 3 hour drive, so hopefully our 2.5 yo will be able to handle it ok.  I am really looking forward to our little trip.  We have done a lot of research and even found some fun things to do in and near the city.

Prematurity Awareness: Our Story

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Happy Prematurity Awareness Day! 

Our son was born at 30 weeks in May of 2008, here is his story...

The Complications
During my wife's first ultrasound, she was diagnosed with a bicornuate uterus . At the that time we were warned of the potential complications, even the increased risk of pre-term labor and delivery (though her doctor was very optimistic).

Date Your Wife: Blizzards!

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The Date: It's been a while since we've had a blizzard from Dairy Queen. Tonight or tomorrow night I think we'll have just that! We usually try to eat fairly healthy (we haven't had a Blizzard in a year or so), but this was my wife's idea and she has quite a sweet tooth during this pregnancy! 

Wordless Wednesday: Our Little Monkey

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November is Prematurity Awareness Month

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November is prematurity awareness month, so during November, In honor of preemies everywhere (my son, included) my blog has a new look to it!  I have also added the March of Dimes Prematurity Awareness month badge on my blog (top right).  Please click through to learn more about prematurity from the March of Dimes and how you can get involved and help out.

I will have additional posts about prematurity as the month goes on.  Specifically 11/17 is prematurity awareness day and I am working on a special post for that day.  So, to get things kicked off, here are a few quick stats about prematurity (Source: PeriStats) -

Michael J. Fox - Better Husband and Father through Parkinsons

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For the past week or so, the internet seems to have been buzzing a bit about the Michael J. Fox interview on Letterman recently.  So what did he say that everyone is talking about?

Wordless Wednesday: Tractor!

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5 Ways to be a Better Husband: #2 - Service

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Today we continue on the Top Five Ways to be a Better Husband series.

#1 - Saying "I love you"

#2 - Service
The idea of serving your wife should seem obvious and simple.  In fact, it is one of the most important ways to show your wife that you love her. I remember receiving some advice when I got married that both my wife, and I were to serve each other. At first, I couldn't understand what this meant - if we were both serving each other, who would be the one being served?  I soon realized the answer to this question. We both are being served too! It is quite a beautiful thing!.

Date Your Wife: Family Date

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The Date: Unfortunately I am going out of town on business soon, so this weekend I am going to be spending time with my family.  Whenever I go out of town the first evening is so relaxing - no kids to worry about, no household responsibilities, etc.  After that, I miss my family too much!  So, instead of finding a babysitter, we'll go on a family date.  We are planning on going to the mall!

CSN Stores Gift Certificate Giveaway!

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Today we have a first for the Better Husbands and Fathers Blog!  A Giveaway!! 

My Son's Hilarious First Prayer

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For the past few weeks, we have been teaching our son to pray.  He's not even 2.5 years old, so it has been just us praying and him repeating our prayer.  But last night, for the first time ever, he said a prayer ALL BY HIMSELF!

Spiritual Thought: Drinking of Your Cup

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A few nights ago, my wife and I were reading the New Testament together before going to sleep.  We read this in John 18:11-

"...the cup which my Father hath given me, shall I not drink it?"

If you recall, Jesus says this to Peter, in response to him lashing out and cutting off the ear of the high-priest servant as they were coming to take him away.  It was a testament to his dedication in being faithful to the will of God; he was to suffer and die for the sins of the world.

Date Your Wife: $100 Date Night

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The Date: About a month ago dadstalking.com had a contest that involved writing a post about what you would do with a $100 date night with you wife.  My entry to the contest was this post, and I WON!!  This the week we spend our winning and have an awesome date!  Though not exactly the one I wrote about...

Wordless Wednesday: Puffy Coat

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5 Ways to be a Better Husband: Say "I Love You"

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Last week I finished the last post in the series "My Top 5 Ways to be a Better Father", so now I move on to focusing a post on each of my top five ways to be a Better Husband.

#1 - Saying "I love you"
This may seen obvious, but I hear way too many stories of husbands who don't verbally express love to their wife.  To me this doesn't just mean a "love you, bye" at the end of your phone conversation. Instead, stop what your doing, focus your attention on your wife, look her in the eyes and say "I love you."  This is an easy thing to do, and if you're not already doing it, it will have a great impact.

Date Your Wife: Baby Names!

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The Date: A you probably know, my wife is pregnant and about 24 weeks along.  It has been a busy week for us and will continue to be a busy weekend for us, so here's what we are going to do for our date.  We will sit down, tonight, and talk about baby names! Of course, we've thrown around names here and there, but we have yet to sit down and dedicate time to this, so I am really looking forward to it!

A Tribute to My Wife

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I decided to forgo the Wordless Wednesday today (perhaps, you'll see a Wordless Thursday?), because this is my 100th post and I wanted to use it for something special.

First, I wanted to thank all you awesome people out there who are reading my posts and especially all of you who are trying to be a Better Husband and a Better Father.  I keep a close eye on the blog's stats and its often humbling see all you stopping by (even if you don't leave a lot of comments!!).  The second thing I want to do with my 100th post is to tell you a little more about my wife.

5 Way to be a Better Father: #5 - Respect Their Mother

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This is my 4th installment in the 5 ways to be a better father series.

#1 - Quality Time/Getting Involved
#2 - Patience 
#3 - Express Love
#4 - Be an Example

#5 - Respect Their Mother-
I almost called this attribute of being a Better Father "Love Your Wife," however, I realize that for many families its not that simple.  You're wife may not be the mother of your children, you may be separated from your children's mother, you may not be married to their mother, etc... No matter your family circumstance, you should always respect your kids' mom (I recently wrote about the important of respecting women in this post).  What if she doesn't deserve your respect, you ask? well then, Fake it around your kids.

Date Your Wife: Birthday Service

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The Date: Yesterday was my wife's birthday.  So what is the best way to show someone you love them on your birthday? Serve them and make sure you do everything you can to help them have an awesome day.  Yes, I am counting this as a date, because we did a lot of fun things together.

You Can't Solve All Her Problems... So, Stop Trying!

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As we all strive to be Better Husbands, it's important to know our limitations.  In fact, its knowledge of these limitations that will help us be Better Husbands.

In general, men are problem solvers.  When we hear a problem, we KNOW we can fix it. We jimmy-rig this, tweak that and somehow make it work! Unfortunately it does not work this way with our wives.

Wordless Wednesday: Salmon Days!

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So, we'll have some words today...
We went to the Salmon Days Festival in our area last week and boy was it fun! During this time of year, the salmon are swimming upstream to spawn;  we're talking giant Chinook Salmon (King) swimming up small creeks - Its pretty amazing what they do. This picture is sitting on the parade route.  He especially liked the fire trucks and the dogs in halloween costumes (and yes, thats me in the background, unfortunately). 

5 Ways to be a Better Father: #4 - Be an Example

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This is my 4th installment in the 5 ways to be a better father series.

#1 - Quality Time/Getting Involved
#2 - Patience 
#3 - Express Love

#4 - Be an Example-
No matter how much quality time you spend with your kids, the amount of patience you have, or how much you express your love to them, they look to you for an example for the kind of person they should be.  Be a good example to your children.  Words are meaningless unless you can back them up.  You can tell your kids how to act until you're blue in the face, but until they see how you live your life, it won't become a reality.

Date Your Wife: Game Night

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The Date: Tonight, after our son is in bed, we are going to have a game night (and probably some TBD snacks and treats!).  I am very competitive, so I am going to have to be careful with this one.  Games are great because you can relax, talk, laugh, smile and have a great time together!  My wife isn't a huge fan of board games (maybe because I always beat her!), but she does like some and there are some card games she enjoys too.

Wordless Wednesday: At the Fair!

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Spiritual Thought: I Can Do All Things Through Christ

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Today's Spiritual Thought post comes to us from Philippians 4:13 -

"I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me."

What a great verse!!  I also enjoy this verse (John 15:5), which has the same message -

5 Ways to be a Better Father: #3 - Express Love

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This is my 3rd installment in the 5 ways to be a better father series.

#1 - Quality Time/Getting Involved
#2 - Patience 

#3 - Express Love-
Your children need to know you love them.  I consistently here of people saying that their Father never expressed love to them, they couldn't even say "I love you."  When was the last time you said "I love you" to your children?  I was lucky enough to have a father who could tell me he loved me and I always knew he did - I still know he does.

Guest Posts This Week

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Thought I'd let you all know of a couple of guest posts I wrote this week for other sites:

How is Triathlon Training Like Marriage? - This is a guest for Engaged Marriage.  I really enjoyed writing this post, I think there is an important lesson about marriage to be learned from this analogy.  Make sure you click over and check it out ...and leave a comment!

Dating 101: For Husband - I wrote this post for Brent over at Great Date Spot.  It is written more toward marriage beginners, but contains the basics to dating your wife. So, head on over and let me know what you think!

Thanks so much for being part of the Better Husbands and Fathers Community!

Date Your Wife: Nesting

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The Date: This has been a VERY busy week for me at home.  On Tuesday alone, I primed and painted our entire bathroom, while my wife and a friend bottled 30 quarts of pears.  As I write this it is Thursday and tonight I am going to put the finishing touches on the bathroom and assemble my son's new bed.  We are doing all this to prepare for baby #2's arrival and any potential pregnancy complications (i.e. bed rest, etc.). Why do I tell you this?

What Does Your Wife Really Think About You?

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I am a husband, and my goal is a happy wife and a happy marriage.  I know what makes my wife happy and what she needs from me in our marriage (for the most part), but not all wives were created equal.  This is where you come in.

Wordless Wednesday: Baby's 2nd Haircut!

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Meet a Better Husband - Andy

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I've been wanting to do something like "Meet a Better Husband" or "Meet a Better Father" for a while, and when I stumbled upon our first Husband's blog, I knew I had to get it kicked off with him.  Not sure how often I will do spotlights like this... probably will just do them as I find them.

That being said, if you know of someone who you would consider a "Better Husband" or "Better Father," please send me an e-mail and let me know about them (eric[at]betterhusbandsandfathers.com), and I might just dedicate a post to them and share their story.

National Childhood Obesity Month

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This month is National Childhood Obesity Month.  It's sad that this is a big enough problem for them to have to dedicate a month to it to bring awareness.  Did you know that about 20% of American children are obese? (source) This number doesn't even count the 'overweight' population.

Date Your Wife: Our "Semi"-anniversary!

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The Date: Last week I was reading a post from The Generous Husband on giving out-of-the-box gifts to your wife - I liked one of them so much that I thought I would do it for this weekend's date.  The best part is that all of this is a secret to my wife. Tomorrow we will be celebrating our 4.5 year "semi"-anniversary!

5 Ways to be a Better Father: #2 - Patience

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This is my second installment in the 5 ways to be a better father series.

#1 - Quality Time/Getting Involved

#2 - Patience-
The first, and obvious, reason to have patience as a father is child abuse.   In 2006, a lack of patience resulted in 323,000 cases of physical abuse against children.  Most of the perpetrators were parents (Source: "NIS-4" report to Congress -  I would give you the link, but I lost it and cannot find it anywhere!). That's like 10 kids a day!  Its not surprising that this study also found that abuse was more likely to occur from a single parent - it is such a blessing to have Mom take over when needed (or take over FOR mom). My wife is a nurse and her current assignment is caring for an 18 month old foster child who has severe brain damage from an abusive parent.  Very sad stuff.

Wordless Wednesday: Slide

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By the way, the little brat you see behind my son is a bully.  He had just stepped on my sons hand and hit him in the mouth before this picture... luckily I have a very resilient boy and he still managed that smile!

A Better Husband and Father Song: Lead Me

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A big thanks to Amy of Confessions of a PTO Mom for posting a link to this video in the comments (not this exact video - I had to find one that I could embed, but same song). I liked it so much I had to share it with everyone. This embodies the attitude we all should have toward being a Better Husband and Father. Enjoy...

Football is Here... Now Go Hide Your Family!

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September marks the beginning of a lot of things - the school year, Autumn, your favorite TV show, and yes, football.  I'm talking American football.... NCAA Football, NFL football, high school football, peewee football, etc. They all start right about now.  If you are like most men in the United States you've been waiting for the beginning of football since January, when the season ended. It even seems like a right of passage for a father to bring his son to his first football game. Football season can be great when it comes, however, it carries a lot of baggage and brings with it unwanted guests.

A Better Husbands and Fathers Blog Update

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I thought this would be a fun to update you all on things going on here at Better Husbands and Fathers.  I will try to do this every couple of week, or whenever things happen! First I wanted to say thank you all for reading.  I am always humbled by the comments (heck, I am humbled by every page view!), so thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts! keep them coming! Here's an update on the blog:

Date Your Wife: Cheesecake!

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The Date: The Cheesecake Factory is one of our favorite places to go for dessert; my wife LOVES their cheesecake.  That being said, we don't get to go very often.  This weekend however, we have a coupon for a free slice of cheesecake!!!! Do you want to know the best part? You can have a coupon for a free slice too!

What is the Key to a Happy Marriage?

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So, I decided to do did a little experiment... I called upon the all-powerful and all-knowing Google and asked him (her?) a question: "What is the key to a happy marriage?"  Prior to hitting the "enter" key I had already decided to pick the top search result and share the first idea that was mentioned.  I was not disappointed with what I found! So, you want to know the ultimate key to a happy marriage?...

Wordless Wednesday: Safety First!

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5 Ways to be a Better Father: #1 - Quality Time/Getting Involved

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One of my first posts as a blogger, was "My Top 5 Ways to be a Better Father."  I have decided that these 5 things are so important that each needs its own post.  So, over time, I will be addressing each of my original top 5 ways to be a Better Father. Remember that these are in no particular order...

Date Your Wife: Nothing... Just Quality Time

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The Date: I returned home last night after spending all week in Chicago for business, therefore, this weekend we will spend quality time together, as a family, and just my wife and I. What will we be doing? Absolutely nothing! After being away from my family and my home for a week (ok, 4 days, but it felt like more) all I want is time with them. This works out pretty good too since it’s a 3-day weekend. In fact, I am even able to work from home tomorrow, so I'll get to be with them for 4 days!

Spiritual Thought: Better Husband and Father Proverbs

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In church last week, some people were sharing their favorite Proverbs. It had been a while since I had read through Proverbs and  I was surprised by how many much wisdom there is for Husbands, Fathers, Marriage, and family in general.  Let me share a few of my favorites (all references are Proverbs and excerpts are taken from the King James Version):

Wordless Wednesday: Howdy Partner!

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Halloween '09

Wife - Friend - Roommate - Ex

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There are times in every man’s marriage (after the honeymoon phase) where his wife starts to feel simply like a friend. Friends, then, can easily and quickly become roommates. This vicious downward spiral can very easily result in becoming less than roommates; Exes! The chart below shows, in my view, what happens to a lot of marriages as husband and wife grow apart.

My $100 Date Night

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Note: This post is my official submission to the DadsTalking $100 date night giveaway, where one dad will receive $100 to take their wife out on a date!  Since I am a strong advocate of dating your wife, I thought I would join in on the fun (and maybe get a free date out of it!).
 
Update: I won! I won! looking forward to making this date a reality very soon!!

Why we deserve the $100 Date Night-
I try to date my wife every week. So my need is not based on a lack of dates, though our definition of a date may be different than others. A "date" to us means spending quality time together whether it is making dinner, watching a movie on the couch, or your more traditional dinner and a movie; and since we been more strapped for money recently we've mostly done the "at-home after our son is in bed" variety.

Date Your Wife: Celebrate & Splurge

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The Date: Most of you have probably heard by now, but we got some good news this week about Baby #2 and the pregnancy! So for our date this week we will splurge and celebrate! I think its important every few months or so, to spend a little more money, and do something a little bigger than you normally would have.  It also helps that today is one of two very special days of the year, bonus AND pay day!

Baby #2 Update!

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The big news this week is that Baby #2 now has a gender!! it's a BOY!!!

My wife is only about 16 weeks along, but due to complications we are having more frequent ultrasounds.  During the ultrasound there was no mistaken that its a boy!  Two weeks ago my wife was having some bleeding and an ultrasound revealed that she had a small subchorionic hemorrhage; we were told these things usually resolve in a couple of weeks.  Lo and behold, it did resolve!! We had an ultrasound on Tuesday and the Ultrasound technician could see no trace of the problem (disclaimer: things could change when the doctor looks at the pictures).

Also on Tuesday night I felt the baby kicking (barely) for the first time!! I know its a little early, but I promise I felt him! It is so amazing to feel this and know that there is a little boy in there.  It is such an amazing and humbling experience to be able to take part in the creation of God's children.

Wordless Wednesday: Future All-Star!

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The 10-Word Challenge

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You may or may not be aware that there is a challenge going on around the blog-o-sphere and David over at Happily Married After was kind enough to "tag" me and make me accountable to it.  By the way, it's Finance Week over at Happily Married After, so go check out posts all week on money and marriage (including giveaways!).

The Sexually Unavailable Wife

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Note: This is the first guest post I've published here on the Better Husbands and Fathers blog and its an important one, so pay attention!  It comes from Julie Sibert.  Julie is a writer and speaker on sexual intimacy in marriage. You can follow her blog at www.IntimacyInMarriage.com (or @Intimacy4Life on Twitter).  She lives in Omaha, Neb., with her Beloved, their two sons and their rambunctious German Shorthair Pointer puppy. 

My husband and I have a saying we use with our children  –  “As long as you keep presenting teachable moments, we’re going to teach.”  Usually, the 12-year-old musters up an eye roll in response to this.  To which we exclaim, “See!  There’s a teachable moment.  No more eye rolls.  It’s disrespectful.  And annoying.”  (He offers another eye roll).

Date Your Wife: Bringing Dinner Home

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The Date: When you are dating your wife it is important to remember that your dates don't always have to be creative, unique, or extravagant. That being said, neither do my Date Your Wife posts! ...now that I have my excuses out of the way, this week's date is picking up food from a restaurant and eating it at home. There are a couple of things you need to know about it though.

Validation for Parents of Picky Eaters

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I've got one of the pickiest eaters that I know.  He is 27 months old and he won't eat any fruit of vegetable that isn't pureed baby food.  He won't eat macaroni and cheese (except sometimes if he dips it in ketchup) grilled cheese, or any kind of noodles!  Luckily he does eat breakfast foods good, but this pretty much leaves us with Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches and chicken nuggets for lunch and dinner!

Wordless Wednesday: Swimming!

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Spiritual Thought: Pray for/with your Wife and Children

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Whether, memorized, read, or spoken from the heart, prayer is an important part of any religious lifestyle.  It doesn't matter how you pray, when you pray, or who you're praying to (though I would recommend God) make sure to pray for your wife and children. It will soften your heart toward them it will remind you how much you love them, and how much God loves them.

Time to Step Up and Be a Man

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There are times in a man's life where you are expected to step-up, be a man, and take care of business. This is one of those times for me.

If you follow my tweets, you may already know part of the story...

Date Your Wife: Massages!

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The Date: It looks like I might have to start getting a bit more creative with my dates.  Its a long story and I'll post on it soon, but my wife was told to "take it easy" and "lie down as much as possible" (shes 15 weeks pregnant); This is better than bed rest, but still limiting.  So that being said, we are going to give each other massages. OK, it will probably be mostly me giving her a foot and back massage, but we'll see.

Do You Hide Spending From Your Wife?

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I recently came across an article which referred to a survey that concluded that 80% of people spend money that their spouse doesn't know about. I couldn't believe this number.... really? 80%?  Needless to say, if you want to be a better husband, don't spend money behind your wife's back!

Wordless Wednesday: Swiiiiing!

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Dick Hoyt: A Better Father

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If you haven't heard the name Dick Hoyt, it's about time you do. Dick Hoyt is a father and a hero. No, I don't know a lot about his personal life, but here's what I do know.

Dick's son Rick has was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy and is in a wheelchair.  Now you hear a lot of stories about parents trying to make life normal for their children with special needs, but never to this extent; this father is truly an inspiration.  Dick and Rick have competed in "over 1,000 races completed, including marathons, duathlons and triathlons (6 of them being Ironman competitions). Also adding to their list of achievements, Dick and Rick biked and ran across the U.S. in 1992, completing a full 3,735 miles in 45 days."

Please check out the video on their website, Team Hoyt, and consider donating.

Be a Better Husband and Father by Respecting Women and Children

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This posts stems from experiences that I had recently when my wife and I went to the Mariner's game. Let me explain. Despite having pretty good seats (down with the season ticket holders) we ended up sitting behind a group of single people, who were mostly men in their mid to late 20's (my age). Throughout the game they were loud, obviously intoxicated, and using profane language.  My issue with that is that there were women, children, and elderly all around them trying to enjoy the game. There was a time when we, as a society cared if we offended others, especially women and children; we respected them and didn't want to subject them to public intoxication or offensive language. When did we stop respecting women and children? This is just one example, I'm sure you've had experiences as well.

Date Your Wife: Baseball Game

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The Date: Yesterday, I was approached with a pair of tickets to go down to Safeco Field and watch the Texas Rangers take on my Mariners.  Naturally I took the tickets and we went to enjoy the game.  Part of what made this date special is that it was spontaneous!  When you are married and especially when you have kids, all of the spontaneity that you once had is no more. We are lucky to have both sets of parents nearby, which allows us to do things like this, so Grandma came over and off we went.

Wordless Wednesday: My First Undies!

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Guest Post / Feedback

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I had the great opportunity to write a guest post on this topic for John over at his Daddy Yo Blog. It is a post about the basics of being a better husband and some areas to focus your efforts.  It was posted yesterday afternoon, so go check it out and make sure you poke around his blog a little because he's got some good stuff on there about being a dad.

The Power Struggle Between Parent and Child

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My son is getting more timeouts everyday! Not only that, but he seems to be getting worse at them too.  See, we practice the Super Nanny technique for timeouts.  This is has been very successful for us and I highly recommend it to anyone! (despite our recent troubles) You may have heard me refer to it before, but let me explain what its all about.