#1 - Quality Time/Getting Involved
#2 - Patience-
The first, and obvious, reason to have patience as a father is child abuse. In 2006, a lack of patience resulted in 323,000 cases of physical abuse against children. Most of the perpetrators were parents (Source: "NIS-4" report to Congress - I would give you the link, but I lost it and cannot find it anywhere!). That's like 10 kids a day! Its not surprising that this study also found that abuse was more likely to occur from a single parent - it is such a blessing to have Mom take over when needed (or take over FOR mom). My wife is a nurse and her current assignment is caring for an 18 month old foster child who has severe brain damage from an abusive parent. Very sad stuff.
What does losing patience mean to you? Most of us probably wouldn't beat our children when we become impatient, but do you raise your voice? become angry? use inappropriate language? or ignore/interrupt your children? Anybody who has raised a child knows that children are excellent at discerning moods/emotions and can be effected by them. It is important we do everything we can to be patient and forgiving in our relationship with our children.
As an example, my son was sick last week and he would NOT go to sleep. We knew he was sick so we did everything we could to comfort him. He proceeded to scream and cry inconsolably... he fell asleep 4.5 hours later. Yes, it definitely tried my patience! I'm sure you could think of hundreds of situations where your children try your patience.
How do we get patience?
This is a difficult question, so I did some research and I liked what I read from Zen Family Habits in a post titled How to Become a Patient Parent. It has a lot of good ideas about how to be patient when you're patience is tested as a parent. This includes the following:
- Count to 10
- Deep Breaths
- Tally Marks
- Pretend Someone's Watching (I love this one!)
- What Would Mom do?
- How does this help?
- Take a Break
- Teach
- Visualize
- Just laugh
What helps you be a more patient father/parent?
PS - After releasing some frustration over our crappy dishwasher last night, my wife reminded me that being an example of patience to your children is also important, even if your impatience is not directed at them... what a wise woman!
