A Reponse to "Where Have All the Good Men Gone?"

Share

photo © 1937 State Library of New South Wales | more info (via: Wylio)

Last Summer I wrote a blog post in reaction to an article from The Atlantic.  The article as it turned out was pretty biased and it was clear the female author had anti-man tendencies.  I have found a similar article, this time from the Wall Street Journal and this time a little bit worse.  The article is title "Where have all the Good Men Gone?" Go take a read and let me know what you think.

Marital Privacy: Self-Disclosure

Share

I stumbled upon this article from The Chicago Tribune about a how to have more happiness in marriage.  It's main point was to express that "consistent, quality conversation" can improve your marriage.  However, it mentioned something in passing that I think deserves more attention AND acts as a good follow-up to my post last week about privacy in marriage.

Guest Posts This Week

Share

Thought I'd let you all know of a couple of guest posts I wrote this week for other sites:

How is Triathlon Training Like Marriage? - This is a guest for Engaged Marriage.  I really enjoyed writing this post, I think there is an important lesson about marriage to be learned from this analogy.  Make sure you click over and check it out ...and leave a comment!

Dating 101: For Husband - I wrote this post for Brent over at Great Date Spot.  It is written more toward marriage beginners, but contains the basics to dating your wife. So, head on over and let me know what you think!

Thanks so much for being part of the Better Husbands and Fathers Community!

A Better Husband and Father Song: Lead Me

Share

A big thanks to Amy of Confessions of a PTO Mom for posting a link to this video in the comments (not this exact video - I had to find one that I could embed, but same song). I liked it so much I had to share it with everyone. This embodies the attitude we all should have toward being a Better Husband and Father. Enjoy...

The 10-Word Challenge

Share

You may or may not be aware that there is a challenge going on around the blog-o-sphere and David over at Happily Married After was kind enough to "tag" me and make me accountable to it.  By the way, it's Finance Week over at Happily Married After, so go check out posts all week on money and marriage (including giveaways!).

Guest Post / Feedback

Share

I had the great opportunity to write a guest post on this topic for John over at his Daddy Yo Blog. It is a post about the basics of being a better husband and some areas to focus your efforts.  It was posted yesterday afternoon, so go check it out and make sure you poke around his blog a little because he's got some good stuff on there about being a dad.

A Better Husband and Father Case Study

Share

Recently there was a blog post on the Motherlode parenting blog from the New York Times.  This post shared a story of a reader, her troubled marriage, and it's effect on their child.  She explains her husband's problems and how its his fault (Keep in mind that this was written by a wife about her husband, so we only have one side of the story). Whether all the facts are there or not, I want to use this husband as a case study, because the problems he is allegedly causing and how he's causing them are not uncommon in marriage. 

The Time Machine

Share

Unfortunately I got next to no traffic during my first 2 weeks of starting this blog, while blogging almost everyday. That means there is a lot of good material out there that most of you have not seen! So, instead of writing a new post today, here's some links of posts that will probably be new to you!

My Top 5 Ways to be a Better Husband
My Top 5 Ways to be a Better Father
Fidelity Gene ?!?
Prioritizing Your Titles - One of my favorite posts!
Fathers and Husbands as Spiritual Leaders

Enjoy and, as always, let me know your thoughts in the comments!

The Recession and US Birth Rates

Share

Did you know that the US birth rate dropped in 2008 for the first time since 2001? In a very interesting study from the Pew Research Center, we learn that the birth rate is pretty closely correlated with the economy.  I hadn't ever thought about this and found it very intriguing (they have a lot of awesome charts and graphs, so go check it out...after you finish here).

The study only has data through 2008, but I am sure there was another decrease in 2009, due to the recession.  Also, does it surprise you that in 2001 there was also a drop? I read somewhere that there is even a link between birth rates and natural or man made disasters.  It seems that, not only did the events of 9/11 kill thousands of people, it may have prevented many more thousands from being born! (no, I can't back that up, but its something to think about).

Another question I have about the US birth rate trend is this....If there was a huge baby boom in and around the '50s, shouldn't we have seen another moderate boom around the '70s? Why didn't the boomers have many kids?

It looks like after we have Baby #2 we will be just about the average American family.  Now, just have to figure out how to have 1/4 of a child.....

Playing God with Pregnancies

Share

Have you heard of the newest innovation in family planning?  It actually gives "family planning" a whole new meaning.  It's called "preservation in vitro fertilization," I first read about it in a recent article from The Washington Post.  It involves freezing a perfectly fertile and healthy couple's embryos when they are young (and genetically more likely to have healthy babies) until they are "financially stable" and "have more parenting time."

Here's what I think...

Apart from it being weird and kinda creepy when you first read about freezing embryos, I do not agree with this and let me tell you why.  I believe there is a certain order in life that God has given us.  There is a time to be a child, a time to learn, and a time to be a parent, etc.  According to a woman's most fertile years it appears God has established ages of approx. 20-40 to be the time to have children. I don't think we should try to find loopholes for our body's natural limitations or tendencies.

In addition, I think the couple from this article have their priorities mixed up.  Evidence of this is that she says that have to wait until they have more time to spend with their child...you make sacrifices and make time.  She is 32 and is still not ready to have a child, do you think she will ever be ready? They don't think that they are in a good enough financial position to have a child, and yet they spend more than $10,000 on freezing their embryos (I don't know about you, but I wouldn't have been able to afford that before we had our son). It seems to me if a fertile and happily married couple, who want children, and are financially secure (and sounds like they do have the financial means) aren't ready in their early 30's, they may never be ready...also, is any one ever ready? 

I am very interested to hear what you all think about this....let me know in the comments.

Guest Post at "Intimacy in Marriage"

Share

Julie Sibert is the woman behind Intimacy in Marriage.  She recently asked me to do a guest post on her blog - My first guest post of my blogging career was posted on her blog yesterday afternoon!

I wrote about the importance of intimacy between husband and wife and how it impacts the family and children. There are a lot of good stuff in it and I really enjoyed writing it. So what are you waiting for? Go check it out! 
(and make sure to leave a comment and let me know what you think!)

A Trend Towards More Women and Moms in the Workforce

Share

I came across an article recently that got my attention from The Atlantic titled "The End of Men." This title naturally got my attention, so I dove in to see what I could find.

The article is VERY long, and I didn't have 4 hours to read all of it so I only got about half-way through. But, unless there was a big "JK" at the end of the article, I don't think I missed anything.  I will say, however, that many interesting statistics were provided and the trend of more women in the workforce is impossible to refute, but I believe she takes it a bit too far. Here are a few of my reactions to it...

"With few exceptions, the greater the power of women, the greater the country’s economic success."

I don't care what numbers she's looking at, implying that women having more power in an economy causes success is a stretch.  Could it be that when an economy is more successful it provides more opportunities for woman to have power by shifting jobs from labor to intellectual industries without consideration of which gender has more power?

I believe Men and Woman are equal.  However, I believe God has given us different inherent qualities that provides balance in the family, which the article wrongly categorizes as "old stereotypes and habits."  For example, men were given competitiveness to be able to provide for their family, and women, patience to nurture and care for their children (not to mention a higher tolerance for pain for childbirth!).  I am not opposed to women in the workforce, but this article seemed to belittle men and lessen their importance in the economy and society!

Father and Son Contention

Share

Arguments between a father and a son will happen from time to time as a son grows.  As fathers it is our responsibility to always have control of the situation and control of our tempers.

I read an article this morning (found here) about a father throwing boiling water on his grown son.  While it appears that the father was intoxicated, he still lost his temper and lost sight of the sacred role and responsibility he has as a father, no matter how old his son is.

God has entrusted these boys and men into our care; we should always have that perspective and do all we can to fulfil this sacred responsibility.

Fidelity Gene?!?

Share

There is a blog post today on the New York Times Health blog about the "Science of a Happy Marriage," and the so-called fidelity gene.

This is a very thought provoking article and there are things that I agree with and other things which I do not.  For one thing, I never want to give men an excuse for infidelity, so we need to remember that.  I am not arguing that the gene does not exist, I am simply saying that men need to take responsibility for their wrong actions, genetics or not.

One thing I like was the study mentioned about how you can overcome the gene and train yourself to resist temptations.  God gave us commandments and gave us choice.  I believe we can be genetically susceptible to certain temptations, but we need to choose to ignore those temptations. We have control over ALL of our choices, our genes don't make our decisions.