I stumbled upon this article from The Chicago Tribune about a how to have more happiness in marriage. It's main point was to express that "consistent, quality conversation" can improve your marriage. However, it mentioned something in passing that I think deserves more attention AND acts as a good follow-up to my post last week about privacy in marriage.
In my post last week I mentioned that "If you are going to become 'one flesh' with your spouse, there should be no holding back. Commit to a 100% open relationship or don't commit at all" There should be no secrets or hiding anything (yes, there are necessary exceptions, but very few). I have always believed this was true, but apparently there was a study which concluded the same too!
As mentioned briefly in the Chicago Tribune article "a 2010 study in the journal BMC Medical Research Methodology found that
"readiness for self-disclosure" was associated with higher marital
quality."
Self Disclosure is defined as "sharing information with others that they would not normally know or
discover. Self-disclosure involves risk and vulnerability on the part
of the person sharing the information," This doesn't make it sounds like privacy is real important, does it?
This article also attributes some of the romance from the dating years to the idea that you are sharing so much! This makes a lot of sense. When you are dating someone you are constantly sharing and letting them learn about who you are and what you are about. Too many couples, stop sharing after a while when they are married. You can combat this with "consistent, quality conversation." When we talk, my wife still likes to say, "tell me something about you that I don't know." It is a VERY hard question, but its think kind of conversation that will strengthen the intimate bond between Husband and Wife.
Pillow talk and Date Nights are your best opportunities for this kind of quality conversation. Consistently open-up to each other and you will see higher marriage quality!
Ideas and Discussion on how to be a Better Husband and a Better Father!
