I realize that I am a little bit late with this "top posts of 2010" post, but I still wanted to do it! Since I started this blog in May 2010, this list is also the top 5 blog posts of all time! If you haven't read these posts you probably should. So without further ado...
Ideas and Discussion on how to be a Better Husband and a Better Father!
Showing posts with label Top 5. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Top 5. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
5 Ways to be a Better Husband: #4 - Surprises!
The latest post in the Top 5 Ways to be a Better Husband series.
#1 - Saying "I love you"
#2 - Service
#3 - Hold Hands
#4 - Surprises!
All women feel love differently. However, all women loved to get surprised. What the surprise is will vary from wife to wife, but I believe all wives enjoy a good surprise. A surprise breaks the routine of everyday life and It shows your wife that you are thinking about her.
#1 - Saying "I love you"
#2 - Service
#3 - Hold Hands
#4 - Surprises!
All women feel love differently. However, all women loved to get surprised. What the surprise is will vary from wife to wife, but I believe all wives enjoy a good surprise. A surprise breaks the routine of everyday life and It shows your wife that you are thinking about her.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
5 Ways to be a Better Husband: #2 - Service
Today we continue on the Top Five Ways to be a Better Husband series.
#1 - Saying "I love you"
#2 - Service
The idea of serving your wife should seem obvious and simple. In fact, it is one of the most important ways to show your wife that you love her. I remember receiving some advice when I got married that both my wife, and I were to serve each other. At first, I couldn't understand what this meant - if we were both serving each other, who would be the one being served? I soon realized the answer to this question. We both are being served too! It is quite a beautiful thing!.
#1 - Saying "I love you"
#2 - Service
The idea of serving your wife should seem obvious and simple. In fact, it is one of the most important ways to show your wife that you love her. I remember receiving some advice when I got married that both my wife, and I were to serve each other. At first, I couldn't understand what this meant - if we were both serving each other, who would be the one being served? I soon realized the answer to this question. We both are being served too! It is quite a beautiful thing!.
Monday, June 21, 2010
Top 5 Things Every New Husband Should Know
Happy Summer!
Since today is the first day of summer and wedding season is already in full swing, I thought I would would share my list of 5 lessons every new husband should know:
#1 - Love is a choice - This is a difficult one to accept. I didn't want to believe it, thinking/hoping the honeymoon feeling will last forever, but it does not! As time goes on a concerted effort most be made to love your wife. Find out how your wife best feels love and continually tell and show her that you love her.
#2 - Marriage is like a roller coaster - When I got married I was told there will be arguments and contention, but I was so naive that I thought "why does there have to be any fighting?...not in my marriage!" However, I found this to be unrealistic very quickly. Contention comes and goes in waves, and so do challenges with money, health, and parenting; so have patience and enjoy the ride.
#3 - From "me" to "us" - In reality, its from "me" to "her." You are now living your life for your wife and family. Every decision you make, you must consider impacts on your family. Its no longer what you want for dinner, or what you want to watch, etc, its what "we" want. And I would suggest more often than not, its what she wants, because they should get their way most of the time!
#4 - Finance 101 - Money can very easily cause contention in marriage. It is very important early on to have honest and open dialogue about hows this is gong to work in your marriage: joint account? who pays the bills? etc... If you are like most Americans, you will also go through times of financial instability, during these times develop flexible and specific budgets, and be honest with your wife about purchases.
#5 - Sacrifices - When you are married you must make sacrifices for you wife. One small example of a sacrifice is leisure time activities. Now, I believe it is important for you to have your separate hobbies, but, we must make sure our wife's needs are being met first; you will probably play less golf when you are married. You now serve your wife, she is number one, your ultimate goal is for her to be happy. You do what it takes to make that happen.
Did I miss anything? What advice would you give for a newly married husband?
Since today is the first day of summer and wedding season is already in full swing, I thought I would would share my list of 5 lessons every new husband should know:
#1 - Love is a choice - This is a difficult one to accept. I didn't want to believe it, thinking/hoping the honeymoon feeling will last forever, but it does not! As time goes on a concerted effort most be made to love your wife. Find out how your wife best feels love and continually tell and show her that you love her.
#2 - Marriage is like a roller coaster - When I got married I was told there will be arguments and contention, but I was so naive that I thought "why does there have to be any fighting?...not in my marriage!" However, I found this to be unrealistic very quickly. Contention comes and goes in waves, and so do challenges with money, health, and parenting; so have patience and enjoy the ride.
#3 - From "me" to "us" - In reality, its from "me" to "her." You are now living your life for your wife and family. Every decision you make, you must consider impacts on your family. Its no longer what you want for dinner, or what you want to watch, etc, its what "we" want. And I would suggest more often than not, its what she wants, because they should get their way most of the time!
#4 - Finance 101 - Money can very easily cause contention in marriage. It is very important early on to have honest and open dialogue about hows this is gong to work in your marriage: joint account? who pays the bills? etc... If you are like most Americans, you will also go through times of financial instability, during these times develop flexible and specific budgets, and be honest with your wife about purchases.
#5 - Sacrifices - When you are married you must make sacrifices for you wife. One small example of a sacrifice is leisure time activities. Now, I believe it is important for you to have your separate hobbies, but, we must make sure our wife's needs are being met first; you will probably play less golf when you are married. You now serve your wife, she is number one, your ultimate goal is for her to be happy. You do what it takes to make that happen.
Did I miss anything? What advice would you give for a newly married husband?
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
My top 5 ways to be a better father
As a follow-up to my post on how to be a better Husband, I will layout my top 5 ways that I feel we can be better fathers. I'd like to preface this post by saying I still have less then 2 years experience being a father, so I am somewhat shooting in the dark here....please correct me where I am wrong.
#1 - Spending time and getting involved
Life is busy, but we make time for what is important for us. Not only are our children important to us, but we are important to them. They need us, they depend on us. I only have one child, but if you have more than one I would say that one-on-one time with each of your children is also important. Learn about who they are, ask them questions, get to know their struggles, desires, and goals. Involve yourself into their lives by coaching their sports team, taking them fishing, or finding some other hobby to share. This will help grow the bond between father and child.
#2 - Have Patience
As I have become a father I have needed to improve this "virtue." Whether its being awake all night, throwing tantrums, not eating what their given, and so much more children try our patience. Having patience with your children will send a message of love to them, while losing your temper or yelling could have lasting negative consequences.
#3 - Say "I Love You"
Just as saying I love you to your wife is important, saying I love you to your children is also important. I believe expressions of love are as important for their emotional development and just knowing that Dad loves them.
#4 -Be a Good Example
This is the best way to teach your children. By your example you can teach them integrity, honesty, spirituality, patience and much, much more. Your actions speak louder than your words. You children need to see how they should act.
#5 -Respect their Mother
Whether married, divorced, or never wed, respect your children's mother. Most likely their mother is very close to them and they love her, so its your job to at least respect her. This obviously becomes more important when you are married to their mother, you should always love and honor her. In addition, for your sons, this should lead to a lifelong commitment to respect the women in his life.
As always, please let me know where I missed the mark, or what tips you have!
#1 - Spending time and getting involved
Life is busy, but we make time for what is important for us. Not only are our children important to us, but we are important to them. They need us, they depend on us. I only have one child, but if you have more than one I would say that one-on-one time with each of your children is also important. Learn about who they are, ask them questions, get to know their struggles, desires, and goals. Involve yourself into their lives by coaching their sports team, taking them fishing, or finding some other hobby to share. This will help grow the bond between father and child.
#2 - Have Patience
As I have become a father I have needed to improve this "virtue." Whether its being awake all night, throwing tantrums, not eating what their given, and so much more children try our patience. Having patience with your children will send a message of love to them, while losing your temper or yelling could have lasting negative consequences.
#3 - Say "I Love You"
Just as saying I love you to your wife is important, saying I love you to your children is also important. I believe expressions of love are as important for their emotional development and just knowing that Dad loves them.
#4 -Be a Good Example
This is the best way to teach your children. By your example you can teach them integrity, honesty, spirituality, patience and much, much more. Your actions speak louder than your words. You children need to see how they should act.
#5 -Respect their Mother
Whether married, divorced, or never wed, respect your children's mother. Most likely their mother is very close to them and they love her, so its your job to at least respect her. This obviously becomes more important when you are married to their mother, you should always love and honor her. In addition, for your sons, this should lead to a lifelong commitment to respect the women in his life.
As always, please let me know where I missed the mark, or what tips you have!
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
My top 5 ways to be a better husband
I have been thinking about how I can be a better Husband, so I thought I would try to compile a list of what I see as the top 5 things we, as husbands, can do for our wives. These are things that are above and beyond, things that would impress your wife and make her feel special. (I am assuming you are doing the basics, like being faithful, honest, etc...)
I am sure your list would have differences, so please let me know where I am wrong! It is my goal to start discussions with my posts and get your feedback. Let me know what you think are some things you can do to be a better husband.
#1 - Say "I Love You"
This is one that I, personally have never had a problem with (I think my wife probably thinks I say it too much!). I understand, however, that many men do not verbally express their love to their wife. This is number one on my list, but it is also the easiest one to do! It's three simple words that will mean the world to your wife, make sure she knows you love her, tell her "I love you" everyday.
#2 - Service
One of the biggest culture shocks to me after I got married was that it was no longer about "Me," it was all about "Us." Often, however, it should be all about "Her." I believe that the best kind of service is in the small things we do. For example, I went to Applebees recently to pick up some food to bring home for dinner. As I was waiting for my food to be ready an elderly couple walked into the restaurant--after requesting a booth, they were seated at the booth closest to the front door. As they walked to their seats, the Gentlemen kindly told his wife that he would sit on the side nearest to the the front door so she wouldn't get cold. He was putting his wife comfort above his own.
It is doing the dishes, getting her a glass of water, and overall putting her needs before yours. Unlike #1, this one requires more effort. There have been times in my marriage where this was easy, but also times where I started getting selfish and worrying about my needs ahead of my wife's. When we serve our wives we are better husbands and our wives are happy.
#3 - Holding Hands
Physical contact can say a lot that words cannot. We have all seen the couple who have been married for 40+ years holding each others hands, and we know that they love each other. This is one of the greatest ways that those around you will know you love and care for your wife. Often I am guilty of walking a few strides ahead of my wife (I have long legs!) Think about how that looks compared to a couple who are walking side-by-side hand-in-hand. Not only will others know you love her, she will know you love her.
#4 - Surprises
I am very bad at this. Whenever I decide to surprise my wife, I will always end up telling her before the surprise. This is about spontaneity, having fun, and letting her know you are thinking about her. Life often gets bogged down into a routine, but when your wife gets a surprise weekend getaway, or you surprise her with taking the day off work to spend time with her, she will melt! Other ideas include leaving her notes where she will find them throughout the day, bringing home flowers on a day that is not a special occasion, or just calling her in the middle of the day to tell her you appreciate her. All women are different, but all woman also enjoy surprises.
#5 - Date Night
More important then the date itself is that you spend quality time with her. Watching TV together after the kids are in bed probably does not count (although we've had many at-home movie nights for dates). This gives you time to talk to each other about your schedules, you could get a hobby together or just go out to dinner. Also, this doesn't even have to cost money, you could make sandwiches and go to the beach, you could go for a long walk together, or many other things...be creative! If you were like me, when you were courting our wife-to-be, you took her on all kinds of extravagant dates to impress her...continue to court your wife and it will make you a better husband.
I am sure your list would have differences, so please let me know where I am wrong! It is my goal to start discussions with my posts and get your feedback. Let me know what you think are some things you can do to be a better husband.
#1 - Say "I Love You"
This is one that I, personally have never had a problem with (I think my wife probably thinks I say it too much!). I understand, however, that many men do not verbally express their love to their wife. This is number one on my list, but it is also the easiest one to do! It's three simple words that will mean the world to your wife, make sure she knows you love her, tell her "I love you" everyday.
#2 - Service
One of the biggest culture shocks to me after I got married was that it was no longer about "Me," it was all about "Us." Often, however, it should be all about "Her." I believe that the best kind of service is in the small things we do. For example, I went to Applebees recently to pick up some food to bring home for dinner. As I was waiting for my food to be ready an elderly couple walked into the restaurant--after requesting a booth, they were seated at the booth closest to the front door. As they walked to their seats, the Gentlemen kindly told his wife that he would sit on the side nearest to the the front door so she wouldn't get cold. He was putting his wife comfort above his own.
It is doing the dishes, getting her a glass of water, and overall putting her needs before yours. Unlike #1, this one requires more effort. There have been times in my marriage where this was easy, but also times where I started getting selfish and worrying about my needs ahead of my wife's. When we serve our wives we are better husbands and our wives are happy.
#3 - Holding Hands
Physical contact can say a lot that words cannot. We have all seen the couple who have been married for 40+ years holding each others hands, and we know that they love each other. This is one of the greatest ways that those around you will know you love and care for your wife. Often I am guilty of walking a few strides ahead of my wife (I have long legs!) Think about how that looks compared to a couple who are walking side-by-side hand-in-hand. Not only will others know you love her, she will know you love her.
#4 - Surprises
I am very bad at this. Whenever I decide to surprise my wife, I will always end up telling her before the surprise. This is about spontaneity, having fun, and letting her know you are thinking about her. Life often gets bogged down into a routine, but when your wife gets a surprise weekend getaway, or you surprise her with taking the day off work to spend time with her, she will melt! Other ideas include leaving her notes where she will find them throughout the day, bringing home flowers on a day that is not a special occasion, or just calling her in the middle of the day to tell her you appreciate her. All women are different, but all woman also enjoy surprises.
#5 - Date Night
More important then the date itself is that you spend quality time with her. Watching TV together after the kids are in bed probably does not count (although we've had many at-home movie nights for dates). This gives you time to talk to each other about your schedules, you could get a hobby together or just go out to dinner. Also, this doesn't even have to cost money, you could make sandwiches and go to the beach, you could go for a long walk together, or many other things...be creative! If you were like me, when you were courting our wife-to-be, you took her on all kinds of extravagant dates to impress her...continue to court your wife and it will make you a better husband.
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