Be a Better Father: Examples from Hollywood

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One of my favorite movies is John Q.  As I was having dental work done recently, I was watching The Pursuit of Happyness and realized how much I love that movie as well.  Then it dawned on me.  I like those movies because they both center around a dedicated and loving father.

John Q -



If you have not seen John Q, stop reading this and go do it. Denzel Washington stars in this movie and he plays a father with a sick son, who is in need of a heart transplant.  Due to issues with his employment status and his insurance coverage he cannot afford the surgery and the hospital refuses to put his son's name on the Heart transplant list.  I love how determined this father is to ensure his son lives - he holds fundraisers and sells all he has, but it still isn't enough.  He still does not give up.  He then resorts to hijacking the hospital and even attempts to take his own life so his son can have his heart.  While this is certainly not recommended, I LOVE his dedication and perseverance to take care of his family.  How many of us would have given up long before that?

Pursuit of Happyness - 
 

In this movie, a down and out family is struggling to pay their bills.  The father, Chris Garnder (Will Smith), works tirelessly to try to provide for his son. Even after his wife leaves him and he becomes homeless, everything he does is to protect and provide for his son.  For me, it makes me think - Am I giving 110% to provide for my family and my sons? If I faced this same situation, would I have the strength and dedication to go to such extreme measure to provide for my family?

Rarely does Hollywood portray powerful, dedicated (or even adequate) fathers.  This time they got it right.  Watch these movies and see two great examples of how to be a great Father.

National Childhood Obesity Month

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This month is National Childhood Obesity Month.  It's sad that this is a big enough problem for them to have to dedicate a month to it to bring awareness.  Did you know that about 20% of American children are obese? (source) This number doesn't even count the 'overweight' population.

The Power Struggle Between Parent and Child

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My son is getting more timeouts everyday! Not only that, but he seems to be getting worse at them too.  See, we practice the Super Nanny technique for timeouts.  This is has been very successful for us and I highly recommend it to anyone! (despite our recent troubles) You may have heard me refer to it before, but let me explain what its all about.

Playing God with Pregnancies

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Have you heard of the newest innovation in family planning?  It actually gives "family planning" a whole new meaning.  It's called "preservation in vitro fertilization," I first read about it in a recent article from The Washington Post.  It involves freezing a perfectly fertile and healthy couple's embryos when they are young (and genetically more likely to have healthy babies) until they are "financially stable" and "have more parenting time."

Here's what I think...

Apart from it being weird and kinda creepy when you first read about freezing embryos, I do not agree with this and let me tell you why.  I believe there is a certain order in life that God has given us.  There is a time to be a child, a time to learn, and a time to be a parent, etc.  According to a woman's most fertile years it appears God has established ages of approx. 20-40 to be the time to have children. I don't think we should try to find loopholes for our body's natural limitations or tendencies.

In addition, I think the couple from this article have their priorities mixed up.  Evidence of this is that she says that have to wait until they have more time to spend with their child...you make sacrifices and make time.  She is 32 and is still not ready to have a child, do you think she will ever be ready? They don't think that they are in a good enough financial position to have a child, and yet they spend more than $10,000 on freezing their embryos (I don't know about you, but I wouldn't have been able to afford that before we had our son). It seems to me if a fertile and happily married couple, who want children, and are financially secure (and sounds like they do have the financial means) aren't ready in their early 30's, they may never be ready...also, is any one ever ready? 

I am very interested to hear what you all think about this....let me know in the comments.

The Power of Talking

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So, I'm a little embarrassed to admit that the idea behind this post came from NBC's new show "Losing it with Jillian."  (I'm a fan of The Biggest Loser and I guess the interest carried over). In addition to helping families lose weight and be more healthy, Jillian comes in and often strengthens family relationships too.

In this particular episode, the father of the family was very emotionally distant from his children and his wife.  He said that he always thought being a good husband and father simply meant bringing home a paycheck - this is what his father had taught him.  The solution they came up with for him?  Talk to your wife and children!

Talking to your wife can do wonders for your relationship.  I mean really talking; setting aside 15-20 minutes each day to "catch up."  This is still something I am trying to do every day, but one thing that has helped us with this is that my wife and I always go to bed at the same time.  We use this time to talk to each other.  Often we don't talk about anything significant - things that happened that day, funny stories about our son, or even just the schedule for the next day.  I find that no matter what we talk about we always feel closer afterward.

In addition, making sure you spend time talking and really listening to your children individually is also very important and impactful. Get to know their interests, fears, desires, goals, etc.  When you do this your children will know you love them and that you will always be there for them.  They will feel like they can come to you with questions and concerns.

so, go and be a better husband and father just by talking!

Help! How do you Discipline a Toddler?

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For the past couple of months my son, Joshua, has developed a whole new attitude.  Now this isn't particularly surprising since he turned 2 in May,but I am having the hardest time knowing how to discipline him in some circumstances.  Don't get me wrong, he's a very sweet boy; he gives kisses, hugs, and always says thanks you, but sometimes he acts like, well, a 2 year old. Since this is my first, any advice for handling the following situations?

• Picky Eating - My son is the pickiest eater I have ever met! He likes most breakfast food, but will only eat a handful of other things for lunch and dinner (PBJ, chicken nuggets, tomato soup, toast, crackers, etc.) He will not eat a single fresh fruit or vegetable, but will still eat some as pureed baby food. We recently decided to start withholding other food unless he eats a few bites of what we give him - his pediatrician says he won't starve himself, but I guess we'll see.  Do you have picky eaters? What have you found successful?

• Throwing Things or Hitting - Sometimes when Joshua doesn't get his way he will swing his arms and hit my wife or I.  This we immediately address and tell him its a "No-No." He also has begun to throw his toys that weren't meant to be thrown, Hotwheels cars in particular.  I feel that we do a good job with this, compared to other areas.  He usually will stop, but if he does it again he will get a timeout...Super Nanny style (which he have found to be very effective). What else has worked for you?

• Ignoring - Especially when I need to change his diaper - I ask him to come lay down, but he will completely ignore me!  I find that I just repeat myself over and over again, and when I try to be stern, I feel like I am yelling (Where's the line there anyway?).  I know some people do the "I'm going to count to 3" technique, but we have not implemented this yet...any one recommend it? What else works?