Husband Olympics - What Medal Would You Receive?

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Since it seems like everything else these days is Olympic-themed, I thought I would join in on the fun!

What does it take to be a gold-medal husband?  here's my take...

Good Husband vs. Good Wife

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As I thought about and wrote my last blog post on the 4 fundamentals of being a good husband, I found an interesting statistic which, while not a surprise, is somewhat troubling.

As I was playing around with different keywords on Google AdWords Keyword Tool and noticed the following:

The Power of Talking

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So, I'm a little embarrassed to admit that the idea behind this post came from NBC's new show "Losing it with Jillian."  (I'm a fan of The Biggest Loser and I guess the interest carried over). In addition to helping families lose weight and be more healthy, Jillian comes in and often strengthens family relationships too.

In this particular episode, the father of the family was very emotionally distant from his children and his wife.  He said that he always thought being a good husband and father simply meant bringing home a paycheck - this is what his father had taught him.  The solution they came up with for him?  Talk to your wife and children!

Talking to your wife can do wonders for your relationship.  I mean really talking; setting aside 15-20 minutes each day to "catch up."  This is still something I am trying to do every day, but one thing that has helped us with this is that my wife and I always go to bed at the same time.  We use this time to talk to each other.  Often we don't talk about anything significant - things that happened that day, funny stories about our son, or even just the schedule for the next day.  I find that no matter what we talk about we always feel closer afterward.

In addition, making sure you spend time talking and really listening to your children individually is also very important and impactful. Get to know their interests, fears, desires, goals, etc.  When you do this your children will know you love them and that you will always be there for them.  They will feel like they can come to you with questions and concerns.

so, go and be a better husband and father just by talking!

Apologize to Your Wife

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While we were dating, my wife once told me "You are really good at apologizing" and she couldn't stay mad at me long.  Of course, now that we have been  married for 4+ years, and after apologizing hundreds thousands of times, it's not quite as impressive.  Because I have used it so frequently, I have learned a thing or two about apologizing in marriage...

• Stop doing things that you need to apologize for!  This one is pretty obvious the best apology is one that never has to be said!

• Sincerity is the key.  You have to mean it, if you don't mean it, why apologize.  Also, they usually know when you aren't sincere.

• Apologizing means that you will try to stop what you are apologizing for.  For example, don't apologize for not helping out more around the house, if you don't intend on putting in a little effort.

• Apologize even if its not your fault. This is hard.  This level of humility is very important in a marriage (expect a post dedicated to humility soon)

• Be the first to apologize.  After an argument, always try to be the first to apologize! Apologizing second is the easy way out... give it to your wife.

So go apologize to your wife! ...I'm sure there's something you did wrong, or could be doing better.

Update: After writing this post I found a great, more in depth, post on apologizing in marriage from Happily Married After - check it out.