So, I'm a little embarrassed to admit that the idea behind this post came from NBC's new show "Losing it with Jillian." (I'm a fan of The Biggest Loser and I guess the interest carried over). In addition to helping families lose weight and be more healthy, Jillian comes in and often strengthens family relationships too.
In this particular episode, the father of the family was very emotionally distant from his children and his wife. He said that he always thought being a good husband and father simply meant bringing home a paycheck - this is what his father had taught him. The solution they came up with for him? Talk to your wife and children!
Talking to your wife can do wonders for your relationship. I mean really talking; setting aside 15-20 minutes each day to "catch up." This is still something I am trying to do every day, but one thing that has helped us with this is that my wife and I always go to bed at the same time. We use this time to talk to each other. Often we don't talk about anything significant - things that happened that day, funny stories about our son, or even just the schedule for the next day. I find that no matter what we talk about we always feel closer afterward.
In addition, making sure you spend time talking and really listening to your children individually is also very important and impactful. Get to know their interests, fears, desires, goals, etc. When you do this your children will know you love them and that you will always be there for them. They will feel like they can come to you with questions and concerns.
so, go and be a better husband and father just by talking!
Ideas and Discussion on how to be a Better Husband and a Better Father!
Something as simple as "talking" can make a big difference. And specially to children. Even though we are listening and watching what they do but we are not really listening to them. We need to make an effort in listening and that gives dividends.
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I was listening to some teaching on this the other day--to have 15-20 minutes of 'couch time' at the end of the work day, pre-getting kids ready for bed or even one on one kid time. We tried it a couple times and a great side effect: my 3 yr old daughter started group hugging us and saying, 'My mommy, my daddy, my family. We're a family.' Seemed to give her a greater sense of family in a little way.
ReplyDelete@Papa Post - I agree, listening is the most important part of having a conversation, and the one that people usually need the most work.
ReplyDelete@Brett - That's awesome, what a great testimonial on the importance of talking. Feeling a "sense of family" is so important!
Good advice, I know it has been a big part of the unity we have as parents and as a family
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