Matt Hasselbeck, XXXChurch, and National Porn Sunday

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photo © 2006 Mister Leung | more info (via: Wylio) I've always liked Matt Hasselbeck, but a few days ago I found another reason to like him.  Not only like him, but I truly admire him now.  Here's why...

I was listening to local Sports Talk radio here in seattle and they were talking about Hasselbeck's involvement with XXXChurch and National Porn Sunday.  So, I did a little more research and found this CNN Article which goes into more detail about it.

The XXXChurch is described as "Christian group that... helps people battling pornography addictions." They are the organizing National Porn Sunday.  As you may already know, Sunday is also Super Bowl Sunday. XXXChurch is planning on using the Super Bowl as a "way to get churches around the country talking about pornography." To do this, professional football players were recruited to be a part of the video that will be broadcast to over 300 churches nationwide.

5 Way to be a Better Father: #5 - Respect Their Mother

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This is my 4th installment in the 5 ways to be a better father series.

#1 - Quality Time/Getting Involved
#2 - Patience 
#3 - Express Love
#4 - Be an Example

#5 - Respect Their Mother-
I almost called this attribute of being a Better Father "Love Your Wife," however, I realize that for many families its not that simple.  You're wife may not be the mother of your children, you may be separated from your children's mother, you may not be married to their mother, etc... No matter your family circumstance, you should always respect your kids' mom (I recently wrote about the important of respecting women in this post).  What if she doesn't deserve your respect, you ask? well then, Fake it around your kids.

5 Ways to be a Better Father: #4 - Be an Example

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This is my 4th installment in the 5 ways to be a better father series.

#1 - Quality Time/Getting Involved
#2 - Patience 
#3 - Express Love

#4 - Be an Example-
No matter how much quality time you spend with your kids, the amount of patience you have, or how much you express your love to them, they look to you for an example for the kind of person they should be.  Be a good example to your children.  Words are meaningless unless you can back them up.  You can tell your kids how to act until you're blue in the face, but until they see how you live your life, it won't become a reality.

5 Ways to be a Better Father: #3 - Express Love

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This is my 3rd installment in the 5 ways to be a better father series.

#1 - Quality Time/Getting Involved
#2 - Patience 

#3 - Express Love-
Your children need to know you love them.  I consistently here of people saying that their Father never expressed love to them, they couldn't even say "I love you."  When was the last time you said "I love you" to your children?  I was lucky enough to have a father who could tell me he loved me and I always knew he did - I still know he does.

National Childhood Obesity Month

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This month is National Childhood Obesity Month.  It's sad that this is a big enough problem for them to have to dedicate a month to it to bring awareness.  Did you know that about 20% of American children are obese? (source) This number doesn't even count the 'overweight' population.

Football is Here... Now Go Hide Your Family!

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September marks the beginning of a lot of things - the school year, Autumn, your favorite TV show, and yes, football.  I'm talking American football.... NCAA Football, NFL football, high school football, peewee football, etc. They all start right about now.  If you are like most men in the United States you've been waiting for the beginning of football since January, when the season ended. It even seems like a right of passage for a father to bring his son to his first football game. Football season can be great when it comes, however, it carries a lot of baggage and brings with it unwanted guests.

How to be a Better Husband and Father: Patience

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Patience. Maybe it is because this is my greatest weakness, but I feel patience can do more for your relationships with your wife and children then almost any other single trait. 

Now, I'm not talking about the kind of impatience that causes anger leading to spouse or child abuse, I'll leave that to the professionals.  What I am talking about is impatience leading to raising your voice or saying things "in the heat of the moment" that you will regret later.  You all know what you can say to your wife that would hurt her the most, do you choose to say that thing and hurt her?  Also, when your 2 yr-old son poops on the floor, do you get angry, or laugh it off? (This actually happened yesterday, but I was excited because it was his first time not in his diaper!)

In fact, even if  your impatience is not directed at your wife or children it can still have a negative impact.  For example, there have been so many times where I've been playing basketball, driving, or even watching sports on TV when I've done something out of anger or frustration.  This is huge disappointment and embarrassment to my wife.

What can we do to improve it? believe me, I have tried many things to improve my patience, so let me share with you two things that I have found to help.  It is a difficult road, I am still walking down it, but these things have helped:

• Pray for patience -  Many people need help being patient.  When you get angry, you feel powerless to control it. God can give us this power.
• Give yourself a "timeout" - I actually learned this from my wife (she uses it very successfully) when you feel angry, but before you act on it, get away from the situation.  Do everything you can to remove yourself from the source of your anger....temporarily. Come back in a few minutes when you feel confident you will behave appropriately.

What are your thoughts about patience in family life? any helpful hints you can give me for my pursuit of patience?

Good News! Baby #2 on the way!

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After being told it may be difficult to become pregnant again my wife, Lisa, and I decided to start giving it a shot.  To our surprise, 2 weeks later we found out that SHE IS PREGNANT (2 weeks ago).  While the ease of getting pregnant was a bit of a surprise, it was a very welcome one.  We are very excited, but a bit nervous to see what this pregnancy brings...here's why...

Early in her pregnancy with our only child, Joshua, Lisa was diagnosed with a Bicornuate, or heart-shaped uterus, and we were told that the odds were against us that she would carry him full-term.  Sure enough the trouble started at 15 weeks gestation and continued off and on until she was about 27 weeks along. At about 27 weeks, she was admitted into the hospital on bed-rest rest due to a bleeding and contractions.  She was in and out of the hospital until one day while she was in the hospital an emergency C-Section was deemed necessary.  She was only 29 weeks and 6 days gestation.  This was very scary for us and many prayers were uttered and tears shed. Although at about 30 weeks, his chances of survival in our day and age was pretty good, it comes with a lot of risks and potential side-effects.  This is Joshua at 4 days old, he needed a little help breathing with CPAP, and 40 days in the NICU, but overall was born a healthy little boy at 3 lbs 12 oz.

You can understand now, why a new pregnancy brings back the experiences of the first and with it a lot of emotions.  Its daunting to think we will probably have similar experiences with Baby #2 and can only hope that it also has a similar happy ending.  Here is Joshua at 2 years old, he has caught up with his size, and the only effect of his prematurity is that he is far-sighted, so he just got the cutest glasses!

Joshua's journey to earth made our marriage stronger as we had to lean on each other for emotional and physical support.  God also taught us many important lessons through those trials, one being how miraculous the pregnancy process is and another how much a child can bless our lives.  While there were some postive lessons learned,  we would definitely be grateful for a nice smooth, full-term, 2nd pregnancy!

So, wish me luck and let me know, in the comments, what to expect with 2! Also, any other fathers of Preemies out there? Whats your story?

Wife or Children?

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If you've read much of my blog before, you might be are aware that I view the relationship men have with their wives above their relationship with their children.  I thought I would dedicate a post to share my thoughts on this topic.

Obviously both being a good father and husband is important, or I would not have dedicated a blog to both relationships.  However, your wife is more important than your children! I say this not to take away from the relationship between father and child, but only to stress the importance of the sacred relationship that is marriage.  Your children will grow, move out, create family of their own within the marriage relationship.  Marriage is the foundation of life.  Children are great, but they too turn to marriage.

Often in pop culture or entertainment we see people neglecting their spouse to be with their children, because their children are the most important people in their lives.  In reality your spouse is, or should be, the most important person in your life (on earth!).  So husbands, treat your wives like it!.  This is one reason I started this blog, to create dialogue and share ideas, because I want to nurture my wife and make her happier than she ever imagined she could be!

Parents Television Council and CBS's New Show

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CBS recently announced the name of a new show (apparently based on a twitter account) titled "$#*! My Dad Says." Appropriately so, the Parents Television Council has plans to "wage an unrelenting campaign" against it. Good for you PTC, I've got your back!

It never ceases to amaze me what people put on TV these days.  I remember when I was a in my young teens I would look forward to some R or PG-13 movies made their TV debut, because, hey, now they were appropriate. Times have changed.  As the PTC points out in their press release, this is evidence of CBS's "contempt for families and the public." The media in general has contempt for families.

Families are being attacked right and left and we need to speak out in which ever ways we can.

Prioritizing Your Titles

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Dad, Husband, Accountant, Little league coach, Mariners' fan, etc. etc.

We have many roles, responsibilities, and titles.  Which one do you want to be known by?  which is most important in your life?

#1 -  Child of God: For obvious reasons our relationship with God is #1, we should seek daily to nourish this relationship.

#2 - Husband: I have been blessed with my wife's companionship and it is the #1 earthly relationship in my life.

#3 - Father: Many of you, no doubt would have this as #1.  However, you must remember that your children will grow up and have spouses of their own and create their own family....Our wives are forever.

Everything else: After family comes everything else.  This will be different for different people, and honestly, it doesn't matter too much what it is, as long at your top 3 are in place.

So, I ask again, which do you want to be known by? which title defines you? if it's not one of the top 3, you have some work to do.

Family Fun at the Zoo!

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I just thought I would share a bit about how important and fun family activities can be.  It is very hard to do with children so small, but with our son being almost 2, we decided to give it a shot and head to the zoo this morning.

It was a beautiful day in Seattle and at the Woodland Park Zoo, and we had such a fun time as a family.  They highlight of the trip was our son running around in the petting zoo calling the goats "cows." It was great fun and it reminded me how important these little family outings are! (even if it does cost $16.50 for an adult!!)