Be a Better Father: Examples from Hollywood

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One of my favorite movies is John Q.  As I was having dental work done recently, I was watching The Pursuit of Happyness and realized how much I love that movie as well.  Then it dawned on me.  I like those movies because they both center around a dedicated and loving father.

John Q -



If you have not seen John Q, stop reading this and go do it. Denzel Washington stars in this movie and he plays a father with a sick son, who is in need of a heart transplant.  Due to issues with his employment status and his insurance coverage he cannot afford the surgery and the hospital refuses to put his son's name on the Heart transplant list.  I love how determined this father is to ensure his son lives - he holds fundraisers and sells all he has, but it still isn't enough.  He still does not give up.  He then resorts to hijacking the hospital and even attempts to take his own life so his son can have his heart.  While this is certainly not recommended, I LOVE his dedication and perseverance to take care of his family.  How many of us would have given up long before that?

Pursuit of Happyness - 
 

In this movie, a down and out family is struggling to pay their bills.  The father, Chris Garnder (Will Smith), works tirelessly to try to provide for his son. Even after his wife leaves him and he becomes homeless, everything he does is to protect and provide for his son.  For me, it makes me think - Am I giving 110% to provide for my family and my sons? If I faced this same situation, would I have the strength and dedication to go to such extreme measure to provide for my family?

Rarely does Hollywood portray powerful, dedicated (or even adequate) fathers.  This time they got it right.  Watch these movies and see two great examples of how to be a great Father.

Family Movie Night - "Truth Be Told"

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This past weekend I had the unique opportunity of pre-screening a movie titled "Truth Be Told" that will air as Part of "Family Movie Night" on Saturday, April 16th on FOX at 8pm/7ct.


First, let me say that the Family Movie Night idea is a great one. There is so much garbage on TV these days, it is awesome to have time set aside for a movie that will be appropriate for the whole family. Not only will the movie be appropriate, but the Family Movie Night website states that the advertising will also be appropriate! Way to go Fox! (Family Movie Night is also on Facebook: www.facebook.com/familymovienight).

The Review-

Be a Better Husband and Father by NOT Buying the iPad 2

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photo © 2010 Steve Paine | more info (via: Wylio)
Did you know the iPad 2 was released in the US on Friday?

...if you didn't, than you're the only one in the country that didn't.  The amazing popularity of this unnecessary luxury item astounds me!  I read in the Wall Street Journal, that analysts are estimating that Apple sold close to 600,000 iPad 2's in 3 days this past weekend.  It is also estimated that 6 million will be sold before March 31st, and 30 million by year's end.  Wow.

Let me give you 2 reasons for the title of this post and why it may not be appropriate for you, as a husband and father, to buy an iPad 2 (or any other expensive unnessecary item):

Being a Better Father... of 2

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As you might have guessed life has been crazy, and I haven't been posting nearly as much as I have wanted to. Those of you with more then one child might understand why.  When my 2nd son was born in the beginning of January, my world got turned upside down and my wife and I have been in survival mode ever since.

Spritual Thought: To visit the Fatherless and Widows...

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photo © 2010 Ryk Neethling | more info (via: Wylio)
I was reading in James recently and came across a verse that really spoke to me regarding the importance of our roles as Husbands and Fathers.

 "Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world." (James 1:27)

In other words, visit those without a Father or a Husband during difficult times. I think there are 2 important lessons to learn from James' words:

• Husbands and Father have an important role in the lives of wives and children.  This makes me want to be a better husband and father. My wife and kids do have me here... I better be taking good care of them.

• We have a responsibility to reach out with love to those who may be without a father or husband.  Chances are you know kids without a dad or a woman without a husband, will you be there during times of affliction?

Be a Better Father by Taking Care of Yourself

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If you've flown before (and actually paid attention to the safety announcements or safety cards) you know that in the event that the cabin should loose air pressure, oxygen masks will fall from the ceiling.  You also know that the bags will not inflate and you are to put your mask on first BEFORE assisting others with you (even your children).  I think this also applies to a lot of aspects of parenting. If you are going to be the best father you can be, you have got to take care of yourself.

Resolve to be a Better Husband and Father in 2011 and Beyond!

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The beginning of a new year brings exciting opportunities to start fresh. For years, people have used January 1st to decide to be a better person.  So this year (like every year) resolve to be a Better Husband and Father!

To give you some ideas of where to start, I am going to give you a sneak peak of the results from a survey of I have conducted with about 40 wives.  Here is one of the questions I asked:

I Need Your Help!

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Thanks to you and your nominations (and maybe one of mine too!) The Better Husbands and Fathers Blog is a finalist to be one of Top Marriage Blogs for 2010!!  Go visit this page and vote ---> The Top 10 Marriage Blog Finalists for 2010 (and while your there, check out 40+ other blogs that have been nominated!) I have only been blogging since May and this is just the kind of boost my blog needs, so if you enjoy my content, please go vote for Better Husband and Fathers!

A big thanks to Stu Gray (aka The Marry Blogger) for hosting this event.  In addition to posting great content on his own blog, he is one of most well respected leaders in the Marriage Blogging community.

Go Vote for Better Husbands and Fathers.  When you do, please come back and tell me that you did, so I can thank you!

Preemie Dad, Johnny Bowen, Shares his Story

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Johnny is a father of a preemie, born at 30 weeks.  I recently met Johnny via Twitter (@johnnyb4577) and have been impressed with his desire to reach out and connect with other preemie dads, so if you one, go follow him! I really appreciate Johnny's story because it brings me back to my NICU days, read his story below to get a good taste of what its like being a working dad with a baby in the NICU.

Preemie Dads: Meet Marc Mapes

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Today's featured Preemie Dad is Marc Mapes.  You can follow him on twitter @marcmapes and he blogs here. As you will read Marc is the father of a premature son - a 28 weeker!  Marc and I have similar stories, in fact, both of our wives are pregnant again and are about 30 weeks along - Congratulations to Marc and his wife for a more successful pregnancy this time around and good luck the rest of the way!

Meet Tom (@Dad_U), a Preemie Dad

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Tom (aka @Dad_U on Twitter) is a father to a Preemie daughter and He blogs over at Dad-U.com.  At the end, he provides some great suggestions on how to survive the NICU.  Many of the thoughts and challanges he expresses are common among Preemie Dads, so pay attention to what he says, it includes some great insights into the struggles of preemie Dads.

Preemie Dad: @aspieme, Father to a 27 - weeker!

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Our first Preemie Dad of the week is known as @aspieme on Twitter.  He is a dad of a 27-weeker and shares some great insights and perspectives on being a Dad to a preemie!

Michael J. Fox - Better Husband and Father through Parkinsons

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For the past week or so, the internet seems to have been buzzing a bit about the Michael J. Fox interview on Letterman recently.  So what did he say that everyone is talking about?

My Son's Hilarious First Prayer

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For the past few weeks, we have been teaching our son to pray.  He's not even 2.5 years old, so it has been just us praying and him repeating our prayer.  But last night, for the first time ever, he said a prayer ALL BY HIMSELF!

5 Way to be a Better Father: #5 - Respect Their Mother

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This is my 4th installment in the 5 ways to be a better father series.

#1 - Quality Time/Getting Involved
#2 - Patience 
#3 - Express Love
#4 - Be an Example

#5 - Respect Their Mother-
I almost called this attribute of being a Better Father "Love Your Wife," however, I realize that for many families its not that simple.  You're wife may not be the mother of your children, you may be separated from your children's mother, you may not be married to their mother, etc... No matter your family circumstance, you should always respect your kids' mom (I recently wrote about the important of respecting women in this post).  What if she doesn't deserve your respect, you ask? well then, Fake it around your kids.

5 Ways to be a Better Father: #4 - Be an Example

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This is my 4th installment in the 5 ways to be a better father series.

#1 - Quality Time/Getting Involved
#2 - Patience 
#3 - Express Love

#4 - Be an Example-
No matter how much quality time you spend with your kids, the amount of patience you have, or how much you express your love to them, they look to you for an example for the kind of person they should be.  Be a good example to your children.  Words are meaningless unless you can back them up.  You can tell your kids how to act until you're blue in the face, but until they see how you live your life, it won't become a reality.

Spiritual Thought: I Can Do All Things Through Christ

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Today's Spiritual Thought post comes to us from Philippians 4:13 -

"I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me."

What a great verse!!  I also enjoy this verse (John 15:5), which has the same message -

5 Ways to be a Better Father: #3 - Express Love

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This is my 3rd installment in the 5 ways to be a better father series.

#1 - Quality Time/Getting Involved
#2 - Patience 

#3 - Express Love-
Your children need to know you love them.  I consistently here of people saying that their Father never expressed love to them, they couldn't even say "I love you."  When was the last time you said "I love you" to your children?  I was lucky enough to have a father who could tell me he loved me and I always knew he did - I still know he does.

National Childhood Obesity Month

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This month is National Childhood Obesity Month.  It's sad that this is a big enough problem for them to have to dedicate a month to it to bring awareness.  Did you know that about 20% of American children are obese? (source) This number doesn't even count the 'overweight' population.

5 Ways to be a Better Father: #2 - Patience

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This is my second installment in the 5 ways to be a better father series.

#1 - Quality Time/Getting Involved

#2 - Patience-
The first, and obvious, reason to have patience as a father is child abuse.   In 2006, a lack of patience resulted in 323,000 cases of physical abuse against children.  Most of the perpetrators were parents (Source: "NIS-4" report to Congress -  I would give you the link, but I lost it and cannot find it anywhere!). That's like 10 kids a day!  Its not surprising that this study also found that abuse was more likely to occur from a single parent - it is such a blessing to have Mom take over when needed (or take over FOR mom). My wife is a nurse and her current assignment is caring for an 18 month old foster child who has severe brain damage from an abusive parent.  Very sad stuff.