Every Marriage has its stressful times. This could be due to a number of different reasons (though my guess is 90% of the time is has to do with children ...or bearing them). Well, right now is one of those times for us, and its in those time when you can really tell who you are as a husband and father; and where you may still need to improve. Are you the same husband during periods of high stress?
My wife is currently on bedrest with our second child - this is stressful. A couple of years ago when my wife was pregnant with our son, she was also on bedrest, but back then it was easy! We had just graduated from college and I didn't have a job yet, we were living with her parents, and we didn't have toddler to care for. I wish I would have appreciated how easy that was, because its not easy this time.
I am very fortunately to be in a position to leave work everyday at lunch and to make lunch for my wife and son. I've also been trying to keep up with cleaning, dish-washing, shopping, and trying to find time to play with my son. All of these things on top of my full-time job, my part-time job (basketball officiating), being president of my HOA, and the holidays makes life stressful these days.
My purpose in telling you this isn't to complain, but to illustrate the stress that can come on a marriage. There have been times in the past week or 2 that I stepped up and did an awesome job of handling the stress of everything I described above. There has also been times, like last night, where the stress really gets to me, I get frustrated and am far less patient with my family. Last night I learned an important lesson...
Whatever the stressors in your life, don't take then out on your family.
But how do you do it? My wife and I were talking last night about how we deal with stress and I think we had a bit of a breakthrough. Through our conversation we learned that we react to stress very differently. When my wife is stressed, she hurries up and gets things off her plate (i.e. finishes projects, etc). I, however, need to unwind THEN get things done. This might only take half an hour, but I find I am more productive (and more patient) when I have relaxed and temporarily reduced my stress. This knowledge will also be helpful when supporting each other during stressful times.
How do you keep stress from having a negative impact on family relationships?
Ideas and Discussion on how to be a Better Husband and a Better Father!
