The Date: It's been a while since we've had a blizzard
from Dairy Queen. Tonight or tomorrow night I think we'll have just
that! We usually try to eat fairly healthy (we haven't had a Blizzard in
a year or so), but this was my wife's idea and she has quite a sweet
tooth during this pregnancy!
Ideas and Discussion on how to be a Better Husband and a Better Father!
Friday, November 12, 2010
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
November is Prematurity Awareness Month
November is prematurity awareness month, so during November, In honor of preemies everywhere (my son, included) my blog has a new look to it! I have also added the March of Dimes Prematurity Awareness month badge on my blog (top right). Please click through to learn more about prematurity from the
March of Dimes and how you can get involved and help out.
I will have additional posts about prematurity as the month goes on. Specifically 11/17 is prematurity awareness day and I am working on a special post for that day. So, to get things kicked off, here are a few quick stats about prematurity (Source: PeriStats) -
I will have additional posts about prematurity as the month goes on. Specifically 11/17 is prematurity awareness day and I am working on a special post for that day. So, to get things kicked off, here are a few quick stats about prematurity (Source: PeriStats) -
Monday, November 8, 2010
Michael J. Fox - Better Husband and Father through Parkinsons
For the past week or so, the internet seems to have been buzzing a
bit about the Michael J. Fox interview on Letterman recently. So what
did he say that everyone is talking about?
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
5 Ways to be a Better Husband: #2 - Service
Today we continue on the Top Five Ways to be a Better Husband series.
#1 - Saying "I love you"
#2 - Service
The idea of serving your wife should seem obvious and simple. In fact, it is one of the most important ways to show your wife that you love her. I remember receiving some advice when I got married that both my wife, and I were to serve each other. At first, I couldn't understand what this meant - if we were both serving each other, who would be the one being served? I soon realized the answer to this question. We both are being served too! It is quite a beautiful thing!.
#1 - Saying "I love you"
#2 - Service
The idea of serving your wife should seem obvious and simple. In fact, it is one of the most important ways to show your wife that you love her. I remember receiving some advice when I got married that both my wife, and I were to serve each other. At first, I couldn't understand what this meant - if we were both serving each other, who would be the one being served? I soon realized the answer to this question. We both are being served too! It is quite a beautiful thing!.
Friday, October 29, 2010
Date Your Wife: Family Date
The Date: Unfortunately I am going out of town on
business soon, so this weekend I am going to be spending time
with my family. Whenever I go out of town the first evening is so
relaxing - no kids to worry about, no household responsibilities, etc. After that, I miss my family too much! So, instead of
finding a babysitter, we'll go on a family date. We are planning on
going to the mall!
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
My Son's Hilarious First Prayer
For the past few weeks, we have been teaching our son to pray. He's not even 2.5 years old, so it has been just us praying and him repeating our prayer. But last night, for the first time ever, he said a prayer ALL BY HIMSELF!
Monday, October 25, 2010
Spiritual Thought: Drinking of Your Cup
A few nights ago, my wife and I were reading the New Testament together before going to sleep. We read this in John 18:11-
"...the cup which my Father hath given me, shall I not drink it?"If you recall, Jesus says this to Peter, in response to him lashing out and cutting off the ear of the high-priest servant as they were coming to take him away. It was a testament to his dedication in being faithful to the will of God; he was to suffer and die for the sins of the world.
Friday, October 22, 2010
Date Your Wife: $100 Date Night
The Date: About a month ago dadstalking.com had a contest that involved writing a post about what you would do with a $100 date night with you wife. My entry to the contest was this post, and I WON!! This the week we spend our winning and have an awesome date! Though not exactly the one I wrote about...
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Monday, October 18, 2010
5 Ways to be a Better Husband: Say "I Love You"
Last week I finished the last post in the series "My Top 5 Ways to be a Better Father", so now I move on to focusing a post on each of my top five ways to be a Better Husband.
#1 - Saying "I love you"
This may seen obvious, but I hear way too many stories of husbands who don't verbally express love to their wife. To me this doesn't just mean a "love you, bye" at the end of your phone conversation. Instead, stop what your doing, focus your attention on your wife, look her in the eyes and say "I love you." This is an easy thing to do, and if you're not already doing it, it will have a great impact.
#1 - Saying "I love you"
This may seen obvious, but I hear way too many stories of husbands who don't verbally express love to their wife. To me this doesn't just mean a "love you, bye" at the end of your phone conversation. Instead, stop what your doing, focus your attention on your wife, look her in the eyes and say "I love you." This is an easy thing to do, and if you're not already doing it, it will have a great impact.
Friday, October 15, 2010
Date Your Wife: Baby Names!
The Date: A you probably know, my wife is pregnant and about 24 weeks along. It has been a busy week for us and will continue to be a busy weekend for us, so here's what we are going to do for our date. We will sit down, tonight, and talk about baby names! Of course, we've thrown around names here and there, but we have yet to sit down and dedicate time to this, so I am really looking forward to it!
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
A Tribute to My Wife
I decided to forgo the Wordless Wednesday today (perhaps, you'll see a Wordless Thursday?), because this is my 100th post and I wanted to use it for something special.
First, I wanted to thank all you awesome people out there who are reading my posts and especially all of you who are trying to be a Better Husband and a Better Father. I keep a close eye on the blog's stats and its often humbling see all you stopping by (even if you don't leave a lot of comments!!). The second thing I want to do with my 100th post is to tell you a little more about my wife.
First, I wanted to thank all you awesome people out there who are reading my posts and especially all of you who are trying to be a Better Husband and a Better Father. I keep a close eye on the blog's stats and its often humbling see all you stopping by (even if you don't leave a lot of comments!!). The second thing I want to do with my 100th post is to tell you a little more about my wife.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
5 Way to be a Better Father: #5 - Respect Their Mother
This is my 4th installment in the 5 ways to be a better father series.
#1 - Quality Time/Getting Involved
#2 - Patience
#3 - Express Love
#4 - Be an Example
#5 - Respect Their Mother-
I almost called this attribute of being a Better Father "Love Your Wife," however, I realize that for many families its not that simple. You're wife may not be the mother of your children, you may be separated from your children's mother, you may not be married to their mother, etc... No matter your family circumstance, you should always respect your kids' mom (I recently wrote about the important of respecting women in this post). What if she doesn't deserve your respect, you ask? well then, Fake it around your kids.
#1 - Quality Time/Getting Involved
#2 - Patience
#3 - Express Love
#4 - Be an Example
#5 - Respect Their Mother-
I almost called this attribute of being a Better Father "Love Your Wife," however, I realize that for many families its not that simple. You're wife may not be the mother of your children, you may be separated from your children's mother, you may not be married to their mother, etc... No matter your family circumstance, you should always respect your kids' mom (I recently wrote about the important of respecting women in this post). What if she doesn't deserve your respect, you ask? well then, Fake it around your kids.
Friday, October 8, 2010
Date Your Wife: Birthday Service
The Date: Yesterday was my wife's birthday. So what is the best way to show someone you love them on your birthday? Serve them and make sure you do everything you can to help them have an awesome day. Yes, I am counting this as a date, because we did a lot of fun things together.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
You Can't Solve All Her Problems... So, Stop Trying!
As we all strive to be Better Husbands, it's important to know our limitations. In fact, its knowledge of these limitations that will help us be Better Husbands.
In general, men are problem solvers. When we hear a problem, we KNOW we can fix it. We jimmy-rig this, tweak that and somehow make it work! Unfortunately it does not work this way with our wives.
In general, men are problem solvers. When we hear a problem, we KNOW we can fix it. We jimmy-rig this, tweak that and somehow make it work! Unfortunately it does not work this way with our wives.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Wordless Wednesday: Salmon Days!
So, we'll have some words today...
We went to the Salmon Days Festival in our area last week and boy was it fun! During this time of year, the salmon are swimming upstream to spawn; we're talking giant Chinook Salmon (King) swimming up small creeks - Its pretty amazing what they do. This picture is sitting on the parade route. He especially liked the fire trucks and the dogs in halloween costumes (and yes, thats me in the background, unfortunately).
We went to the Salmon Days Festival in our area last week and boy was it fun! During this time of year, the salmon are swimming upstream to spawn; we're talking giant Chinook Salmon (King) swimming up small creeks - Its pretty amazing what they do. This picture is sitting on the parade route. He especially liked the fire trucks and the dogs in halloween costumes (and yes, thats me in the background, unfortunately).
Monday, October 4, 2010
5 Ways to be a Better Father: #4 - Be an Example
This is my 4th installment in the 5 ways to be a better father series.
#1 - Quality Time/Getting Involved
#2 - Patience
#3 - Express Love
#4 - Be an Example-
No matter how much quality time you spend with your kids, the amount of patience you have, or how much you express your love to them, they look to you for an example for the kind of person they should be. Be a good example to your children. Words are meaningless unless you can back them up. You can tell your kids how to act until you're blue in the face, but until they see how you live your life, it won't become a reality.
#1 - Quality Time/Getting Involved
#2 - Patience
#3 - Express Love
#4 - Be an Example-
No matter how much quality time you spend with your kids, the amount of patience you have, or how much you express your love to them, they look to you for an example for the kind of person they should be. Be a good example to your children. Words are meaningless unless you can back them up. You can tell your kids how to act until you're blue in the face, but until they see how you live your life, it won't become a reality.
Friday, October 1, 2010
Date Your Wife: Game Night
The Date: Tonight, after our son is in bed, we are going to have a game night (and probably some TBD snacks and treats!). I am very competitive, so I am going to have to be careful with this one. Games are great because you can relax, talk, laugh, smile and have a great time together! My wife isn't a huge fan of board games (maybe because I always beat her!), but she does like some and there are some card games she enjoys too.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Spiritual Thought: I Can Do All Things Through Christ
Today's Spiritual Thought post comes to us from Philippians 4:13 -
"I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me."What a great verse!! I also enjoy this verse (John 15:5), which has the same message -
Monday, September 27, 2010
5 Ways to be a Better Father: #3 - Express Love
This is my 3rd installment in the 5 ways to be a better father series.
#1 - Quality Time/Getting Involved
#2 - Patience
#3 - Express Love-
Your children need to know you love them. I consistently here of people saying that their Father never expressed love to them, they couldn't even say "I love you." When was the last time you said "I love you" to your children? I was lucky enough to have a father who could tell me he loved me and I always knew he did - I still know he does.
#1 - Quality Time/Getting Involved
#2 - Patience
#3 - Express Love-
Your children need to know you love them. I consistently here of people saying that their Father never expressed love to them, they couldn't even say "I love you." When was the last time you said "I love you" to your children? I was lucky enough to have a father who could tell me he loved me and I always knew he did - I still know he does.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Guest Posts This Week
Thought I'd let you all know of a couple of guest posts I wrote this week for other sites:
How is Triathlon Training Like Marriage? - This is a guest for Engaged Marriage. I really enjoyed writing this post, I think there is an important lesson about marriage to be learned from this analogy. Make sure you click over and check it out ...and leave a comment!
Dating 101: For Husband - I wrote this post for Brent over at Great Date Spot. It is written more toward marriage beginners, but contains the basics to dating your wife. So, head on over and let me know what you think!
Thanks so much for being part of the Better Husbands and Fathers Community!
How is Triathlon Training Like Marriage? - This is a guest for Engaged Marriage. I really enjoyed writing this post, I think there is an important lesson about marriage to be learned from this analogy. Make sure you click over and check it out ...and leave a comment!
Dating 101: For Husband - I wrote this post for Brent over at Great Date Spot. It is written more toward marriage beginners, but contains the basics to dating your wife. So, head on over and let me know what you think!
Thanks so much for being part of the Better Husbands and Fathers Community!
Friday, September 24, 2010
Date Your Wife: Nesting
The Date: This has been a VERY busy week for me at home. On Tuesday alone, I primed and painted our entire bathroom, while my wife and a friend bottled 30 quarts of pears. As I write this it is Thursday and tonight I am going to put the finishing touches on the bathroom and assemble my son's new bed. We are doing all this to prepare for baby #2's arrival and any potential pregnancy complications (i.e. bed rest, etc.). Why do I tell you this?
Thursday, September 23, 2010
What Does Your Wife Really Think About You?
I am a husband, and my goal is a happy wife and a happy marriage. I know what makes my wife happy and what she needs from me in our marriage (for the most part), but not all wives were created equal. This is where you come in.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Meet a Better Husband - Andy
I've been wanting to do something like "Meet a Better Husband" or "Meet a Better Father" for a while, and when I stumbled upon our first Husband's blog, I knew I had to get it kicked off with him. Not sure how often I will do spotlights like this... probably will just do them as I find them.
That being said, if you know of someone who you would consider a "Better Husband" or "Better Father," please send me an e-mail and let me know about them (eric[at]betterhusbandsandfathers.com), and I might just dedicate a post to them and share their story.
That being said, if you know of someone who you would consider a "Better Husband" or "Better Father," please send me an e-mail and let me know about them (eric[at]betterhusbandsandfathers.com), and I might just dedicate a post to them and share their story.
Monday, September 20, 2010
National Childhood Obesity Month
This month is National Childhood Obesity Month. It's sad that this is a big enough problem for them to have to dedicate a month to it to bring awareness. Did you know that about 20% of American children are obese? (source) This number doesn't even count the 'overweight' population.
Friday, September 17, 2010
Date Your Wife: Our "Semi"-anniversary!
The Date: Last week I was reading a post from The Generous Husband on giving out-of-the-box gifts to your wife - I liked one of them so much that I thought I would do it for this weekend's date. The best part is that all of this is a secret to my wife. Tomorrow we will be celebrating our 4.5 year "semi"-anniversary!
Thursday, September 16, 2010
5 Ways to be a Better Father: #2 - Patience
This is my second installment in the 5 ways to be a better father series.
#1 - Quality Time/Getting Involved
#2 - Patience-
The first, and obvious, reason to have patience as a father is child abuse. In 2006, a lack of patience resulted in 323,000 cases of physical abuse against children. Most of the perpetrators were parents (Source: "NIS-4" report to Congress - I would give you the link, but I lost it and cannot find it anywhere!). That's like 10 kids a day! Its not surprising that this study also found that abuse was more likely to occur from a single parent - it is such a blessing to have Mom take over when needed (or take over FOR mom). My wife is a nurse and her current assignment is caring for an 18 month old foster child who has severe brain damage from an abusive parent. Very sad stuff.
#1 - Quality Time/Getting Involved
#2 - Patience-
The first, and obvious, reason to have patience as a father is child abuse. In 2006, a lack of patience resulted in 323,000 cases of physical abuse against children. Most of the perpetrators were parents (Source: "NIS-4" report to Congress - I would give you the link, but I lost it and cannot find it anywhere!). That's like 10 kids a day! Its not surprising that this study also found that abuse was more likely to occur from a single parent - it is such a blessing to have Mom take over when needed (or take over FOR mom). My wife is a nurse and her current assignment is caring for an 18 month old foster child who has severe brain damage from an abusive parent. Very sad stuff.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Wordless Wednesday: Slide
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
A Better Husband and Father Song: Lead Me
A big thanks to Amy of Confessions of a PTO Mom for posting a link to this video in the comments (not this exact video - I had to find one that I could embed, but same song). I liked it so much I had to share it with everyone. This embodies the attitude we all should have toward being a Better Husband and Father. Enjoy...
Monday, September 13, 2010
Football is Here... Now Go Hide Your Family!
September marks the beginning of a lot of things - the school year, Autumn, your favorite TV show, and yes, football. I'm talking American football.... NCAA Football, NFL football, high school football, peewee football, etc. They all start right about now. If you are like most men in the United States you've been waiting for the beginning of football since January, when the season ended. It even seems like a right of passage for a father to bring his son to his first football game. Football season can be great when it comes, however, it carries a lot of baggage and brings with it unwanted guests.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
A Better Husbands and Fathers Blog Update
I thought this would be a fun to update you all on things going on here at Better Husbands and Fathers. I will try to do this every couple of week, or whenever things happen! First I wanted to say thank you all for reading. I am always humbled by the comments (heck, I am humbled by every page view!), so thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts! keep them coming! Here's an update on the blog:
Friday, September 10, 2010
Date Your Wife: Cheesecake!
The Date: The Cheesecake Factory is one of our favorite places to go for dessert; my wife LOVES their cheesecake. That being said, we don't get to go very often. This weekend however, we have a coupon for a free slice of cheesecake!!!! Do you want to know the best part? You can have a coupon for a free slice too!
Thursday, September 9, 2010
What is the Key to a Happy Marriage?
So, I decided to do did a little experiment... I called upon the all-powerful and all-knowing Google and asked him (her?) a question: "What is the key to a happy marriage?" Prior to hitting the "enter" key I had already decided to pick the top search result and share the first idea that was mentioned. I was not disappointed with what I found! So, you want to know the ultimate key to a happy marriage?...
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
5 Ways to be a Better Father: #1 - Quality Time/Getting Involved
One of my first posts as a blogger, was "My Top 5 Ways to be a Better Father." I have decided that these 5 things are so important that each needs its own post. So, over time, I will be addressing each of my original top 5 ways to be a Better Father. Remember that these are in no particular order...
Friday, September 3, 2010
Date Your Wife: Nothing... Just Quality Time
The Date: I returned home last night after spending all week in Chicago for business, therefore, this weekend we will spend quality time together, as a family, and just my wife and I. What will we be doing? Absolutely nothing! After being away from my family and my home for a week (ok, 4 days, but it felt like more) all I want is time with them. This works out pretty good too since it’s a 3-day weekend. In fact, I am even able to work from home tomorrow, so I'll get to be with them for 4 days!
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Spiritual Thought: Better Husband and Father Proverbs
In church last week, some people were sharing their favorite Proverbs. It had been a while since I had read through Proverbs and I was surprised by how many much wisdom there is for Husbands, Fathers, Marriage, and family in general. Let me share a few of my favorites (all references are Proverbs and excerpts are taken from the King James Version):
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Wife - Friend - Roommate - Ex
There are times in every man’s marriage (after the honeymoon phase) where his wife starts to feel simply like a friend. Friends, then, can easily and quickly become roommates. This vicious downward spiral can very easily result in becoming less than roommates; Exes! The chart below shows, in my view, what happens to a lot of marriages as husband and wife grow apart.
Monday, August 30, 2010
My $100 Date Night
Note: This post is my official submission to the DadsTalking $100 date night giveaway, where one dad will receive $100 to take their wife out on a date! Since I am a strong advocate of dating your wife, I thought I would join in on the fun (and maybe get a free date out of it!).
Update: I won! I won! looking forward to making this date a reality very soon!!
Why we deserve the $100 Date Night-
I try to date my wife every week. So my need is not based on a lack of dates, though our definition of a date may be different than others. A "date" to us means spending quality time together whether it is making dinner, watching a movie on the couch, or your more traditional dinner and a movie; and since we been more strapped for money recently we've mostly done the "at-home after our son is in bed" variety.
Update: I won! I won! looking forward to making this date a reality very soon!!
Why we deserve the $100 Date Night-
I try to date my wife every week. So my need is not based on a lack of dates, though our definition of a date may be different than others. A "date" to us means spending quality time together whether it is making dinner, watching a movie on the couch, or your more traditional dinner and a movie; and since we been more strapped for money recently we've mostly done the "at-home after our son is in bed" variety.
Friday, August 27, 2010
Date Your Wife: Celebrate & Splurge
The Date: Most of you have probably heard by now, but we got some good news this week about Baby #2 and the pregnancy! So for our date this week we will splurge and celebrate! I think its important every few months or so, to spend a little more money, and do something a little bigger than you normally would have. It also helps that today is one of two very special days of the year, bonus AND pay day!
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Baby #2 Update!
The big news this week is that Baby #2 now has a gender!! it's a BOY!!!
My wife is only about 16 weeks along, but due to complications we are having more frequent ultrasounds. During the ultrasound there was no mistaken that its a boy! Two weeks ago my wife was having some bleeding and an ultrasound revealed that she had a small subchorionic hemorrhage; we were told these things usually resolve in a couple of weeks. Lo and behold, it did resolve!! We had an ultrasound on Tuesday and the Ultrasound technician could see no trace of the problem (disclaimer: things could change when the doctor looks at the pictures).
Also on Tuesday night I felt the baby kicking (barely) for the first time!! I know its a little early, but I promise I felt him! It is so amazing to feel this and know that there is a little boy in there. It is such an amazing and humbling experience to be able to take part in the creation of God's children.
My wife is only about 16 weeks along, but due to complications we are having more frequent ultrasounds. During the ultrasound there was no mistaken that its a boy! Two weeks ago my wife was having some bleeding and an ultrasound revealed that she had a small subchorionic hemorrhage; we were told these things usually resolve in a couple of weeks. Lo and behold, it did resolve!! We had an ultrasound on Tuesday and the Ultrasound technician could see no trace of the problem (disclaimer: things could change when the doctor looks at the pictures).
Also on Tuesday night I felt the baby kicking (barely) for the first time!! I know its a little early, but I promise I felt him! It is so amazing to feel this and know that there is a little boy in there. It is such an amazing and humbling experience to be able to take part in the creation of God's children.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
The 10-Word Challenge
You may or may not be aware that there is a challenge going on around the blog-o-sphere and David over at Happily Married After was kind enough to "tag" me and make me accountable to it. By the way, it's Finance Week over at Happily Married After, so go check out posts all week on money and marriage (including giveaways!).
Monday, August 23, 2010
The Sexually Unavailable Wife
Note: This is the first guest post I've published here on the Better Husbands and Fathers blog and its an important one, so pay attention! It comes from Julie Sibert. Julie is a writer and speaker on sexual intimacy in marriage. You can follow her blog at www.IntimacyInMarriage.com (or @Intimacy4Life on Twitter). She lives in Omaha, Neb., with her Beloved, their two sons and their rambunctious German Shorthair Pointer puppy.
My husband and I have a saying we use with our children – “As long as you keep presenting teachable moments, we’re going to teach.” Usually, the 12-year-old musters up an eye roll in response to this. To which we exclaim, “See! There’s a teachable moment. No more eye rolls. It’s disrespectful. And annoying.” (He offers another eye roll).
Friday, August 20, 2010
Date Your Wife: Bringing Dinner Home
The Date: When you are dating your wife it is important to remember that your dates don't always have to be creative, unique, or extravagant. That being said, neither do my Date Your Wife posts! ...now that I have my excuses out of the way, this week's date is picking up food from a restaurant and eating it at home. There are a couple of things you need to know about it though.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Validation for Parents of Picky Eaters
I've got one of the pickiest eaters that I know. He is 27 months old and he won't eat any fruit of vegetable that isn't pureed baby food. He won't eat macaroni and cheese (except sometimes if he dips it in ketchup) grilled cheese, or any kind of noodles! Luckily he does eat breakfast foods good, but this pretty much leaves us with Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches and chicken nuggets for lunch and dinner!
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Spiritual Thought: Pray for/with your Wife and Children
Whether, memorized, read, or spoken from the heart, prayer is an important part of any religious lifestyle. It doesn't matter how you pray, when you pray, or who you're praying to (though I would recommend God) make sure to pray for your wife and children. It will soften your heart toward them it will remind you how much you love them, and how much God loves them.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Time to Step Up and Be a Man
There are times in a man's life where you are expected to step-up, be a man, and take care of business. This is one of those times for me.
If you follow my tweets, you may already know part of the story...
If you follow my tweets, you may already know part of the story...
Friday, August 13, 2010
Date Your Wife: Massages!
The Date: It looks like I might have to start getting a bit more creative with my dates. Its a long story and I'll post on it soon, but my wife was told to "take it easy" and "lie down as much as possible" (shes 15 weeks pregnant); This is better than bed rest, but still limiting. So that being said, we are going to give each other massages. OK, it will probably be mostly me giving her a foot and back massage, but we'll see.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Do You Hide Spending From Your Wife?
I recently came across an article which referred to a survey that concluded that 80% of people spend money that their spouse doesn't know about. I couldn't believe this number.... really? 80%? Needless to say, if you want to be a better husband, don't spend money behind your wife's back!
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Dick Hoyt: A Better Father
If you haven't heard the name Dick Hoyt, it's about time you do. Dick Hoyt is a father and a hero. No, I don't know a lot about his personal life, but here's what I do know.
Dick's son Rick has was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy and is in a wheelchair. Now you hear a lot of stories about parents trying to make life normal for their children with special needs, but never to this extent; this father is truly an inspiration. Dick and Rick have competed in "over 1,000 races completed, including marathons, duathlons and triathlons (6 of them being Ironman competitions). Also adding to their list of achievements, Dick and Rick biked and ran across the U.S. in 1992, completing a full 3,735 miles in 45 days."
Please check out the video on their website, Team Hoyt, and consider donating.
Dick's son Rick has was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy and is in a wheelchair. Now you hear a lot of stories about parents trying to make life normal for their children with special needs, but never to this extent; this father is truly an inspiration. Dick and Rick have competed in "over 1,000 races completed, including marathons, duathlons and triathlons (6 of them being Ironman competitions). Also adding to their list of achievements, Dick and Rick biked and ran across the U.S. in 1992, completing a full 3,735 miles in 45 days."
Please check out the video on their website, Team Hoyt, and consider donating.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Be a Better Husband and Father by Respecting Women and Children
This posts stems from experiences that I had recently when my wife and I went to the Mariner's game. Let me explain. Despite having pretty good seats (down with the season ticket holders) we ended up sitting behind a group of single people, who were mostly men in their mid to late 20's (my age). Throughout the game they were loud, obviously intoxicated, and using profane language. My issue with that is that there were women, children, and elderly all around them trying to enjoy the game. There was a time when we, as a society cared if we offended others, especially women and children; we respected them and didn't want to subject them to public intoxication or offensive language. When did we stop respecting women and children? This is just one example, I'm sure you've had experiences as well.
Friday, August 6, 2010
Date Your Wife: Baseball Game
The Date: Yesterday, I was approached with a pair of tickets to go down to Safeco Field and watch the Texas Rangers take on my Mariners. Naturally I took the tickets and we went to enjoy the game. Part of what made this date special is that it was spontaneous! When you are married and especially when you have kids, all of the spontaneity that you once had is no more. We are lucky to have both sets of parents nearby, which allows us to do things like this, so Grandma came over and off we went.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Guest Post / Feedback
I had the great opportunity to write a guest post on this topic for John over at his Daddy Yo Blog. It is a post about the basics of being a better husband and some areas to focus your efforts. It was posted yesterday afternoon, so go check it out and make sure you poke around his blog a little because he's got some good stuff on there about being a dad.
Monday, August 2, 2010
The Power Struggle Between Parent and Child
My son is getting more timeouts everyday! Not only that, but he seems to be getting worse at them too. See, we practice the Super Nanny technique for timeouts. This is has been very successful for us and I highly recommend it to anyone! (despite our recent troubles) You may have heard me refer to it before, but let me explain what its all about.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Date Your Wife: A Conversation
The Date: Husband and wife are pulled their separate ways on a daily basis. If not careful this can lead to growing apart from each other. To combat this, I am a huge proponent of pillow talk, but often just catching up on the day is not enough. We will have a conversation for our date this week! When I say a conversation, I mean we will turn off the TV, phones, computer, and all distractions and have an in depth meaningful exchange.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Spiritual Thought: Is it I?
During the last week of Jesus' life he ate what is known as in Christendom as "The Last Supper." He was surrounded by his twelve apostles for the Passover feast. During this event, He declared "one of you shall betray me."
Monday, July 26, 2010
A Better Husband and Father Case Study
Recently there was a blog post on the Motherlode parenting blog from the New York Times. This post shared a story of a reader, her troubled marriage, and it's effect on their child. She explains her husband's problems and how its his fault (Keep in mind that this was written by a wife about her husband, so we only have one side of the story). Whether all the facts are there or not, I want to use this husband as a case study, because the problems he is allegedly causing and how he's causing them are not uncommon in marriage.
Friday, July 23, 2010
Date Your Wife: Nightlife!
The Date: We didn't have much of a nightlife before we got married, but getting married and especially having children eliminated what little was there. So this week we decided to hit the town! We actually did this date on Wednesday night because we were attending a rock concert where my wife's brother was performing at a bar in downtown Seattle. Dates don't always have to be on the weekend and, in fact, some of the best dates happen during the week. Anyway, We got a family member to watch our son and we were off to party the night away! (ok, so we were home by 11pm, but that is still late for us). We did feel a bit out of place there (having no tattoos nor drinking any alcohol) but it was still fun to see my brother-in-law perform on stage and to spend some child-less time with my wife!
The Challenge: Get back into the nightlife scene for a night, such as a comedy club, a concert, or dancing! or do something similar you haven't done since you were married. Whatever you do, just have fun and spend time together. Like always, Let me know your date plans for this weekend in the comments!
The Cost: Free - okay I'll admit we carpooled with my in-laws and they ended up paying our admission, but hey, it was free for us! For you, it shouldn't be too expensive, depending on your specific plans.
Click here for more info about the Date Your Wife series
Last Week's Date: Baking
The Challenge: Get back into the nightlife scene for a night, such as a comedy club, a concert, or dancing! or do something similar you haven't done since you were married. Whatever you do, just have fun and spend time together. Like always, Let me know your date plans for this weekend in the comments!
The Cost: Free - okay I'll admit we carpooled with my in-laws and they ended up paying our admission, but hey, it was free for us! For you, it shouldn't be too expensive, depending on your specific plans.
Click here for more info about the Date Your Wife series
Last Week's Date: Baking
Thursday, July 22, 2010
The Time Machine
Unfortunately I got next to no traffic during my first 2 weeks of starting this blog, while blogging almost everyday. That means there is a lot of good material out there that most of you have not seen! So, instead of writing a new post today, here's some links of posts that will probably be new to you!
My Top 5 Ways to be a Better Husband
My Top 5 Ways to be a Better Father
Fidelity Gene ?!?
Prioritizing Your Titles - One of my favorite posts!
Fathers and Husbands as Spiritual Leaders
Enjoy and, as always, let me know your thoughts in the comments!
My Top 5 Ways to be a Better Husband
My Top 5 Ways to be a Better Father
Fidelity Gene ?!?
Prioritizing Your Titles - One of my favorite posts!
Fathers and Husbands as Spiritual Leaders
Enjoy and, as always, let me know your thoughts in the comments!
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Spiritual Thought: Joseph's Obedience
I have been thinking a lot Joseph, the earthly father of Jesus. I cannot imagine the emotions he was gong through when he found out that Mary was going to have a baby! They were not married, nor had the "known" each other. Naturally, Joseph's reaction is to "put her away" or leave her. What comes next is an important lesson...
God sent an angel to Joseph to deliver the message that Mary was, in fact, going to have a baby, and that this baby was "of the Holy Ghost." We can learn a lot from Joseph's reaction - "...[Joseph] did as the angel of the Lord had bidden him, and took unto him his wife." Joseph received communication from heaven that he should marry Mary, so he did it! Joseph relied on God and showed obedience in one of the most trying times in his life. Are we sensitive to God's prompting in our life and for our families? When we receive inspiration from heaven are we as obedient as Joseph?
Action Item: God wants us to have happy families and He will use us to accomplish this, He will help us be a better father and a better husband. He wants you to be the Spiritual Leader in your home and will guide us through the inspiration of His Spirit, but we must be obedient to it - only when we are obedient to what He gives us, will He give us more!
God sent an angel to Joseph to deliver the message that Mary was, in fact, going to have a baby, and that this baby was "of the Holy Ghost." We can learn a lot from Joseph's reaction - "...[Joseph] did as the angel of the Lord had bidden him, and took unto him his wife." Joseph received communication from heaven that he should marry Mary, so he did it! Joseph relied on God and showed obedience in one of the most trying times in his life. Are we sensitive to God's prompting in our life and for our families? When we receive inspiration from heaven are we as obedient as Joseph?
Action Item: God wants us to have happy families and He will use us to accomplish this, He will help us be a better father and a better husband. He wants you to be the Spiritual Leader in your home and will guide us through the inspiration of His Spirit, but we must be obedient to it - only when we are obedient to what He gives us, will He give us more!
Monday, July 19, 2010
Is Your Wife the Problem?
Marriage is a partnership, if we really want to improve it, it must be joint effort. Since I only write to half of the equation (husbands), there is another half to take into account as well. This can often complicate things... When a marriage is having problems who's fault is it?
Are you the problem?
This is the most important question you need to ask yourself when your marriage is struggling. If the answer is "Yes," then, well, you probably already know what you need to do. It gets a bit more tricky if you feel your wife may be the problem.
What if your wife is the problem?
I have imagined a lot of men reading my blog and saying to themselves, "Self, it's not your fault, you're doing everything you can to be a Better Husband... if only my wife tried once in a while." While your wife probably does have things to work on, we can't let this thinking be an excuse for you to keep you from making needed improvements in your own life. We can only change what we can control, we cannot control our wife!
We should do everything in our power to change ourselves first, then, if there are still issues, have the conversation with our wives about what we expect from her or things we would like her to change. Yes, I can imagine a scenario when it might be beneficial to make these changes together. You can support each other in making positive changes at the same time, but whatever you do, don't try to change your wife BEFORE you change yourself.
This is the reason why I started this blog. While I do feel my wife and I have a good marriage, I recognize there are ways I can be better. I want to make sure I do everything I can to help ensure we have a successful marriage and a happy family. I've got to do everything I can to change myself first, then... when I'm perfect, if we ever have problems...we know for sure who's fault it is :)
Are you the problem?
This is the most important question you need to ask yourself when your marriage is struggling. If the answer is "Yes," then, well, you probably already know what you need to do. It gets a bit more tricky if you feel your wife may be the problem.
What if your wife is the problem?
I have imagined a lot of men reading my blog and saying to themselves, "Self, it's not your fault, you're doing everything you can to be a Better Husband... if only my wife tried once in a while." While your wife probably does have things to work on, we can't let this thinking be an excuse for you to keep you from making needed improvements in your own life. We can only change what we can control, we cannot control our wife!
We should do everything in our power to change ourselves first, then, if there are still issues, have the conversation with our wives about what we expect from her or things we would like her to change. Yes, I can imagine a scenario when it might be beneficial to make these changes together. You can support each other in making positive changes at the same time, but whatever you do, don't try to change your wife BEFORE you change yourself.
This is the reason why I started this blog. While I do feel my wife and I have a good marriage, I recognize there are ways I can be better. I want to make sure I do everything I can to help ensure we have a successful marriage and a happy family. I've got to do everything I can to change myself first, then... when I'm perfect, if we ever have problems...we know for sure who's fault it is :)
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Baby #2 Pregnancy Update!
This week, I heard Baby #2's heart beat!
My wife is now 11 weeks pregnant with our 2nd child and I am so excited to be having another baby! (Though, I must admit, it is a bit daunting to think of doubling the number of my children before I even feel like I have the hang of this dad thing - I am still on my quest to become a Better Father!). Hopefully my wife will start feeling better soon as she wraps up the last week in her first trimester. In addition, her doctor has moved her due date up 3 or 4 days! it is now Feb. 6th!
We did get some more good news too, the complications from the first pregnancy (chronic abruption) are nowhere to be seen! Although, this doesn't mean it won't develop, and due to my wife's uterine anomaly, the baby will still likely be born early...though hopefully we can get past 30 weeks this time!
It is so awesome to hear your unborn baby's heartbeat. A human is growing inside my wife! I am also in awe of my wife. She puts up with discomfort, morning sickness, and the prospects of major abdominal surgery (C-section), and she's happy to do it! She's amazing, thanks honey!
My wife is now 11 weeks pregnant with our 2nd child and I am so excited to be having another baby! (Though, I must admit, it is a bit daunting to think of doubling the number of my children before I even feel like I have the hang of this dad thing - I am still on my quest to become a Better Father!). Hopefully my wife will start feeling better soon as she wraps up the last week in her first trimester. In addition, her doctor has moved her due date up 3 or 4 days! it is now Feb. 6th!
We did get some more good news too, the complications from the first pregnancy (chronic abruption) are nowhere to be seen! Although, this doesn't mean it won't develop, and due to my wife's uterine anomaly, the baby will still likely be born early...though hopefully we can get past 30 weeks this time!
It is so awesome to hear your unborn baby's heartbeat. A human is growing inside my wife! I am also in awe of my wife. She puts up with discomfort, morning sickness, and the prospects of major abdominal surgery (C-section), and she's happy to do it! She's amazing, thanks honey!
Friday, July 16, 2010
Date Your Wife: Baking
The Date: I have always loved to bake, so we've done similar dates in the past, like making dinner together, and its always so much fun. I think these types of things make excellent dates because you are working together for a common goal...then you get to eat it! We haven't decided specifically what we will be making, but we do love chocolate cookies, so if I had to guess, it would be that. after baking, we will probably end up watching a movie together cuddling on the couch!
To spice this up a bit, you could try to make a heart-shaped cookie or you could each make something different that you know your spouse will love. The important part is that you talk, have fun, and spend quality time with each other.
The Challenge: Since there are endless ways you could use baking or cooking as a date, find a way to do it in a way that is best for you and your wife. If you don't do this, just make sure you find some time somehow to spend quality time with your wife! Like always, in the name of accountability, Let me know your date plans for this weekend in the comments!
The Cost: $5-10. Just the cost of ingredients!
Update: First, I have to say that trying to make a heart shaped chocolate cookie is A LOT harder that it sounds. Second, my wife really loves the Nestle Tollhouse refrigerated dough, so despite my attempt to have a baking extravaganza, we just made cookie from store-bought dough. We did, have fun eating them all together and we watched Forrest Gump while we ate! It was a fun date!
Click here for more info about the Date Your Wife series
Last Week's Date: Breakfast!
To spice this up a bit, you could try to make a heart-shaped cookie or you could each make something different that you know your spouse will love. The important part is that you talk, have fun, and spend quality time with each other.
The Challenge: Since there are endless ways you could use baking or cooking as a date, find a way to do it in a way that is best for you and your wife. If you don't do this, just make sure you find some time somehow to spend quality time with your wife! Like always, in the name of accountability, Let me know your date plans for this weekend in the comments!
The Cost: $5-10. Just the cost of ingredients!
Update: First, I have to say that trying to make a heart shaped chocolate cookie is A LOT harder that it sounds. Second, my wife really loves the Nestle Tollhouse refrigerated dough, so despite my attempt to have a baking extravaganza, we just made cookie from store-bought dough. We did, have fun eating them all together and we watched Forrest Gump while we ate! It was a fun date!
Click here for more info about the Date Your Wife series
Last Week's Date: Breakfast!
Thursday, July 15, 2010
The Recession and US Birth Rates
Did you know that the US birth rate dropped in 2008 for the first time since 2001? In a very interesting study from the Pew Research Center, we learn that the birth rate is pretty closely correlated with the economy. I hadn't ever thought about this and found it very intriguing (they have a lot of awesome charts and graphs, so go check it out...after you finish here).
The study only has data through 2008, but I am sure there was another decrease in 2009, due to the recession. Also, does it surprise you that in 2001 there was also a drop? I read somewhere that there is even a link between birth rates and natural or man made disasters. It seems that, not only did the events of 9/11 kill thousands of people, it may have prevented many more thousands from being born! (no, I can't back that up, but its something to think about).
Another question I have about the US birth rate trend is this....If there was a huge baby boom in and around the '50s, shouldn't we have seen another moderate boom around the '70s? Why didn't the boomers have many kids?
It looks like after we have Baby #2 we will be just about the average American family. Now, just have to figure out how to have 1/4 of a child.....
The study only has data through 2008, but I am sure there was another decrease in 2009, due to the recession. Also, does it surprise you that in 2001 there was also a drop? I read somewhere that there is even a link between birth rates and natural or man made disasters. It seems that, not only did the events of 9/11 kill thousands of people, it may have prevented many more thousands from being born! (no, I can't back that up, but its something to think about).
Another question I have about the US birth rate trend is this....If there was a huge baby boom in and around the '50s, shouldn't we have seen another moderate boom around the '70s? Why didn't the boomers have many kids?
It looks like after we have Baby #2 we will be just about the average American family. Now, just have to figure out how to have 1/4 of a child.....
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
My First Wordless Wednesday!
So, I guess it was inevitable. I have decided to start participating in Dad Blogs Wordless Wednesday! Here we go!
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Playing God with Pregnancies
Have you heard of the newest innovation in family planning? It actually gives "family planning" a whole new meaning. It's called "preservation in vitro fertilization," I first read about it in a recent article from The Washington Post. It involves freezing a perfectly fertile and healthy couple's embryos when they are young (and genetically more likely to have healthy babies) until they are "financially stable" and "have more parenting time."
Here's what I think...
Apart from it being weird and kinda creepy when you first read about freezing embryos, I do not agree with this and let me tell you why. I believe there is a certain order in life that God has given us. There is a time to be a child, a time to learn, and a time to be a parent, etc. According to a woman's most fertile years it appears God has established ages of approx. 20-40 to be the time to have children. I don't think we should try to find loopholes for our body's natural limitations or tendencies.
In addition, I think the couple from this article have their priorities mixed up. Evidence of this is that she says that have to wait until they have more time to spend with their child...you make sacrifices and make time. She is 32 and is still not ready to have a child, do you think she will ever be ready? They don't think that they are in a good enough financial position to have a child, and yet they spend more than $10,000 on freezing their embryos (I don't know about you, but I wouldn't have been able to afford that before we had our son). It seems to me if a fertile and happily married couple, who want children, and are financially secure (and sounds like they do have the financial means) aren't ready in their early 30's, they may never be ready...also, is any one ever ready?
I am very interested to hear what you all think about this....let me know in the comments.
Here's what I think...
Apart from it being weird and kinda creepy when you first read about freezing embryos, I do not agree with this and let me tell you why. I believe there is a certain order in life that God has given us. There is a time to be a child, a time to learn, and a time to be a parent, etc. According to a woman's most fertile years it appears God has established ages of approx. 20-40 to be the time to have children. I don't think we should try to find loopholes for our body's natural limitations or tendencies.
In addition, I think the couple from this article have their priorities mixed up. Evidence of this is that she says that have to wait until they have more time to spend with their child...you make sacrifices and make time. She is 32 and is still not ready to have a child, do you think she will ever be ready? They don't think that they are in a good enough financial position to have a child, and yet they spend more than $10,000 on freezing their embryos (I don't know about you, but I wouldn't have been able to afford that before we had our son). It seems to me if a fertile and happily married couple, who want children, and are financially secure (and sounds like they do have the financial means) aren't ready in their early 30's, they may never be ready...also, is any one ever ready?
I am very interested to hear what you all think about this....let me know in the comments.
Monday, July 12, 2010
Being a Better Husband and a Better Father Through Humility
Humility can help you become a better husband and a better father - It is also the cure for much of the contention in marriage and family life.
What is Humility?
One of the dictionary definitions I like the best defines humility as "not proud or arrogant." Humility then, is the opposite of pride. It is recognizing that others lives, opinions, and feelings are just as important as our own. Humility is often spoken of in a religious context - accepting God's will in our lives, acknowledging that he knows whats best for us, and submitting ourselves to his commandments. So what does it mean in our family?
Humility as a Husband
Humility allows you to be a better husband by you viewing your wife on the same level as you, by understanding that you are equal partners in the relationship and in the family. It also helps you be able to admit wrong-doing, apologize, and even just admit when you have made a mistake.
Can you imagine how little contention there would be in marriage, if we didn't always have to be right, if we didn't care if we had things our way, if we were always quick to apologize, or if we always put our wife's need above out own? This kind of perfect humility is impossible to obtain, but we need to try for it, because to be a better husband, you must be humble.
Humility as a Father
For those of you that are fathers, you know how humbling it is to be able to take part in a process that creates life. Its a miracle and humbling to know that you have been given this power with your wife. I think when you have young children it can be harder to be humble toward them, some even openly exercise dominion over them. It is so important that your children know you respect and value them. Young children often view their parents as infallible, but they need to know that even you make mistakes. Also, if we are humble and teachable, our children will teach us!
Humility is key to your family's happiness, but pride is one of the hardest challenges to overcome (for me at least). Try to be a better husband and a better father by being humble, I know you will see a difference!
What is Humility?
One of the dictionary definitions I like the best defines humility as "not proud or arrogant." Humility then, is the opposite of pride. It is recognizing that others lives, opinions, and feelings are just as important as our own. Humility is often spoken of in a religious context - accepting God's will in our lives, acknowledging that he knows whats best for us, and submitting ourselves to his commandments. So what does it mean in our family?
Humility as a Husband
Humility allows you to be a better husband by you viewing your wife on the same level as you, by understanding that you are equal partners in the relationship and in the family. It also helps you be able to admit wrong-doing, apologize, and even just admit when you have made a mistake.
Can you imagine how little contention there would be in marriage, if we didn't always have to be right, if we didn't care if we had things our way, if we were always quick to apologize, or if we always put our wife's need above out own? This kind of perfect humility is impossible to obtain, but we need to try for it, because to be a better husband, you must be humble.
Humility as a Father
For those of you that are fathers, you know how humbling it is to be able to take part in a process that creates life. Its a miracle and humbling to know that you have been given this power with your wife. I think when you have young children it can be harder to be humble toward them, some even openly exercise dominion over them. It is so important that your children know you respect and value them. Young children often view their parents as infallible, but they need to know that even you make mistakes. Also, if we are humble and teachable, our children will teach us!
Humility is key to your family's happiness, but pride is one of the hardest challenges to overcome (for me at least). Try to be a better husband and a better father by being humble, I know you will see a difference!
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Spiritual Thought: Joshua
I was recently reading about Joshua in The Bible. Joshua lead the children of Israel into the promise land. He helped them cross through the Jordan River on dry ground and helped them fall the walls of Jericho. What can we learn from this great prophet?
"Choose you this day whom ye will serve; ...but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." (Joshua 24:15)
This verse of scripture is the greatest thing we can learn from Joshua, not only was he the leader of the Israelites, but also a righteous leader in his own family. Through this we are taught something about parenting - Joshua gave the people their agency, taught them about the Lord, and set a righteous example by stating that he would serve the Lord. Because of his example the people respond to Joshua's question of whom to serve with "The Lord our God will we serve, and his voice will we obey" (Joshua 24:24). When we teach our children and set an example for them to follow, we can encourage them to make good choices.
Action Item: Like, Joshua, be a spiritual leader in your home. To do this, decide to serve the Lord, teach your children about the Lord, and set a righteous example for them.
"Choose you this day whom ye will serve; ...but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." (Joshua 24:15)
This verse of scripture is the greatest thing we can learn from Joshua, not only was he the leader of the Israelites, but also a righteous leader in his own family. Through this we are taught something about parenting - Joshua gave the people their agency, taught them about the Lord, and set a righteous example by stating that he would serve the Lord. Because of his example the people respond to Joshua's question of whom to serve with "The Lord our God will we serve, and his voice will we obey" (Joshua 24:24). When we teach our children and set an example for them to follow, we can encourage them to make good choices.
Action Item: Like, Joshua, be a spiritual leader in your home. To do this, decide to serve the Lord, teach your children about the Lord, and set a righteous example for them.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Introducing: Spritual Thoughts
As I continue to get the hang of this blogging thing (its been about 2 months!) I am starting to get a little better organized about my posts. The weekly Date Your Wife posts which were introduced a few weeks ago are successful and very fun to write. So, I have decided to introduce a new series to Better Husbands and Fathers called Spiritual Thoughts!
The reason I have decided to do this is because Christianity and religion are big parts of my life and a large contributor to my efforts to become a Better Husband and Father. Also, being spiritual leaders in the home is a very important role for a husband and father.
Some posts will be from The Bible, others will be quotations, and some will simply be spiritual reflections from my experiences as a husband and father. All Spiritual Thought posts will have one thing in common, at bottom of every post is an action item - something that you can implement in your own life.
I've got my first one set up to post tomorrow, but I don't expect them to be a predictable, weekly feature.
I hope you'll enjoy these as much as I'll enjoy writing them!
The reason I have decided to do this is because Christianity and religion are big parts of my life and a large contributor to my efforts to become a Better Husband and Father. Also, being spiritual leaders in the home is a very important role for a husband and father.
Some posts will be from The Bible, others will be quotations, and some will simply be spiritual reflections from my experiences as a husband and father. All Spiritual Thought posts will have one thing in common, at bottom of every post is an action item - something that you can implement in your own life.
I've got my first one set up to post tomorrow, but I don't expect them to be a predictable, weekly feature.
I hope you'll enjoy these as much as I'll enjoy writing them!
Friday, July 9, 2010
Date Your Wife: Breakfast!
The Date: To add a little "creativity" to the standard dinner date, this weekend, we've decided to go out to breakfast! pretty creative, huh? Not really, but breakfast is our favorite meal, so it will be a lot of fun. Afterward, we are planning to go for a walk for a little exercise and more uplifting conversation. We will ditch our son with his grandma and have a good couple of hours of alone. Since we missed our date last week, I am really looking forward to this date.
The Challenge: Go out to breakfast! Or you could take one of your usual dates and mix it up a little, do it at a different time or in a different way. This can make it exciting and be very fun. (yes, I understand that going out to breakfast instead of dinner, isn't very creative, but its still fun!). Whatever you decide to do, make sure you Date Your Wife! ...in the name of accountability, Let me know your date plans for this weekend in the comments!
The Cost: $15. This is one of the greatest benefits of this date, its inexpensive!
Update: This morning we dropped off our son with his grandparents and went to Denny's! we had a good meal and then sat and talked for a while about our baby we are expecting and reviewed some baby names, etc. It was so good to sit down and have a good conversation with my wife without anything interrupting! Also, my $15 estimate was dead-on, the total was $15.18!
Click here for more info about the Date Your Wife series
Last Week's Date: Kayaking!
The Challenge: Go out to breakfast! Or you could take one of your usual dates and mix it up a little, do it at a different time or in a different way. This can make it exciting and be very fun. (yes, I understand that going out to breakfast instead of dinner, isn't very creative, but its still fun!). Whatever you decide to do, make sure you Date Your Wife! ...in the name of accountability, Let me know your date plans for this weekend in the comments!
The Cost: $15. This is one of the greatest benefits of this date, its inexpensive!
Update: This morning we dropped off our son with his grandparents and went to Denny's! we had a good meal and then sat and talked for a while about our baby we are expecting and reviewed some baby names, etc. It was so good to sit down and have a good conversation with my wife without anything interrupting! Also, my $15 estimate was dead-on, the total was $15.18!
Click here for more info about the Date Your Wife series
Last Week's Date: Kayaking!
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Guest Post at "Intimacy in Marriage"
Julie Sibert is the woman behind Intimacy in Marriage. She recently asked me to do a guest post on her blog - My first guest post of my blogging career was posted on her blog yesterday afternoon!
I wrote about the importance of intimacy between husband and wife and how it impacts the family and children. There are a lot of good stuff in it and I really enjoyed writing it. So what are you waiting for? Go check it out!
(and make sure to leave a comment and let me know what you think!)
I wrote about the importance of intimacy between husband and wife and how it impacts the family and children. There are a lot of good stuff in it and I really enjoyed writing it. So what are you waiting for? Go check it out!
(and make sure to leave a comment and let me know what you think!)
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
The Power of Talking
So, I'm a little embarrassed to admit that the idea behind this post came from NBC's new show "Losing it with Jillian." (I'm a fan of The Biggest Loser and I guess the interest carried over). In addition to helping families lose weight and be more healthy, Jillian comes in and often strengthens family relationships too.
In this particular episode, the father of the family was very emotionally distant from his children and his wife. He said that he always thought being a good husband and father simply meant bringing home a paycheck - this is what his father had taught him. The solution they came up with for him? Talk to your wife and children!
Talking to your wife can do wonders for your relationship. I mean really talking; setting aside 15-20 minutes each day to "catch up." This is still something I am trying to do every day, but one thing that has helped us with this is that my wife and I always go to bed at the same time. We use this time to talk to each other. Often we don't talk about anything significant - things that happened that day, funny stories about our son, or even just the schedule for the next day. I find that no matter what we talk about we always feel closer afterward.
In addition, making sure you spend time talking and really listening to your children individually is also very important and impactful. Get to know their interests, fears, desires, goals, etc. When you do this your children will know you love them and that you will always be there for them. They will feel like they can come to you with questions and concerns.
so, go and be a better husband and father just by talking!
In this particular episode, the father of the family was very emotionally distant from his children and his wife. He said that he always thought being a good husband and father simply meant bringing home a paycheck - this is what his father had taught him. The solution they came up with for him? Talk to your wife and children!
Talking to your wife can do wonders for your relationship. I mean really talking; setting aside 15-20 minutes each day to "catch up." This is still something I am trying to do every day, but one thing that has helped us with this is that my wife and I always go to bed at the same time. We use this time to talk to each other. Often we don't talk about anything significant - things that happened that day, funny stories about our son, or even just the schedule for the next day. I find that no matter what we talk about we always feel closer afterward.
In addition, making sure you spend time talking and really listening to your children individually is also very important and impactful. Get to know their interests, fears, desires, goals, etc. When you do this your children will know you love them and that you will always be there for them. They will feel like they can come to you with questions and concerns.
so, go and be a better husband and father just by talking!
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Apologize to Your Wife
While we were dating, my wife once told me "You are really good at apologizing" and she couldn't stay mad at me long. Of course, now that we have been married for 4+ years, and after apologizing hundreds thousands of times, it's not quite as impressive. Because I have used it so frequently, I have learned a thing or two about apologizing in marriage...
Update: After writing this post I found a great, more in depth, post on apologizing in marriage from Happily Married After - check it out.
- Stop doing things that you need to apologize for! This one is pretty obvious the best apology is one that never has to be said!
- Sincerity is the key. You have to mean it, if you don't mean it, why apologize. Also, they usually know when you aren't sincere.
- Apologizing means that you will try to stop what you are apologizing for. For example, don't apologize for not helping out more around the house, if you don't intend on putting in a little effort.
- Apologize even if its not your fault. This is hard. This level of humility is very important in a marriage (expect a post dedicated to humility soon)
- Be the first to apologize. After an argument, always try to be the first to apologize! Apologizing second is the easy way out... give it to your wife.
Update: After writing this post I found a great, more in depth, post on apologizing in marriage from Happily Married After - check it out.
Friday, July 2, 2010
Date Your Wife: Kayaking!
The Date: It is a 3-day weekend, which may expand your dating possibilities. Unfortunately, we're going to have to wait until Monday to enjoy our date, because like many of you, we've got a busy weekend ahead of us. We have decided to go rent kayaks! We are lucky enough to have many places who offer this service near us (Seattle area). We did this same date while we were dating, and it is so much fun to goof around in the water and get a little exercise in the process. The weather should be warm and sunny, although the lake water will still be too cold for a swim. Also, maybe we will also get lunch afterward.
The Challenge: Now that we are into July, the weather should cooperate for an outdoor date for most of the country. Go outside and do something fun that you don't normally do together. Go hiking, kayaking, to the beach, or even just have a picnic! Whatever you decide, just make sure you date your wife this weekend!... Let me know your date plans for this weekend in the comments!
The Cost: I'm not sure how much it will cost, but I am hoping that it won't be more than about $10-$20.
Update: First, I must tell you that I planned this date without consulting my wife. I had forgotten about her bad wrist, so kayaking might not be such a good idea right now. Also, she was able to pick up some work for most of the day on Saturday. So what I'm getting at, after all these excuses, is that we did not get to go on a date! One of the reasons I am posting our dates is to be accountable for dating my wife. I didn't do a good job dating my wife this weekend, but it was a crazy weekend (with the holiday and all). Anyway, I just have to make next weekend's date amazing!
Click here for more info about the Date Your Wife series
Last Week's Date: Movie Night at Home
The Challenge: Now that we are into July, the weather should cooperate for an outdoor date for most of the country. Go outside and do something fun that you don't normally do together. Go hiking, kayaking, to the beach, or even just have a picnic! Whatever you decide, just make sure you date your wife this weekend!... Let me know your date plans for this weekend in the comments!
The Cost: I'm not sure how much it will cost, but I am hoping that it won't be more than about $10-$20.
Update: First, I must tell you that I planned this date without consulting my wife. I had forgotten about her bad wrist, so kayaking might not be such a good idea right now. Also, she was able to pick up some work for most of the day on Saturday. So what I'm getting at, after all these excuses, is that we did not get to go on a date! One of the reasons I am posting our dates is to be accountable for dating my wife. I didn't do a good job dating my wife this weekend, but it was a crazy weekend (with the holiday and all). Anyway, I just have to make next weekend's date amazing!
Click here for more info about the Date Your Wife series
Last Week's Date: Movie Night at Home
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Help! How do you Discipline a Toddler?
For the past couple of months my son, Joshua, has developed a whole new attitude. Now this isn't particularly surprising since he turned 2 in May,but I am having the hardest time knowing how to discipline him in some circumstances. Don't get me wrong, he's a very sweet boy; he gives kisses, hugs, and always says thanks you, but sometimes he acts like, well, a 2 year old. Since this is my first, any advice for handling the following situations?
- Picky Eating - My son is the pickiest eater I have ever met! He likes most breakfast food, but will only eat a handful of other things for lunch and dinner (PBJ, chicken nuggets, tomato soup, toast, crackers, etc.) He will not eat a single fresh fruit or vegetable, but will still eat some as pureed baby food. We recently decided to start withholding other food unless he eats a few bites of what we give him - his pediatrician says he won't starve himself, but I guess we'll see. Do you have picky eaters? What have you found successful?
- Throwing Things or Hitting - Sometimes when Joshua doesn't get his way he will swing his arms and hit my wife or I. This we immediately address and tell him its a "No-No." He also has begun to throw his toys that weren't meant to be thrown, Hotwheels cars in particular. I feel that we do a good job with this, compared to other areas. He usually will stop, but if he does it again he will get a timeout...Super Nanny style (which he have found to be very effective). What else has worked for you?
- Ignoring - Especially when I need to change his diaper - I ask him to come lay down, but he will completely ignore me! I find that I just repeat myself over and over again, and when I try to be stern, I feel like I am yelling (Where's the line there anyway?). I know some people do the "I'm going to count to 3" technique, but we have not implemented this yet...any one recommend it? What else works?
Monday, June 28, 2010
How to be a Better Husband and Father: Patience
Patience. Maybe it is because this is my greatest weakness, but I feel patience can do more for your relationships with your wife and children then almost any other single trait.
Now, I'm not talking about the kind of impatience that causes anger leading to spouse or child abuse, I'll leave that to the professionals. What I am talking about is impatience leading to raising your voice or saying things "in the heat of the moment" that you will regret later. You all know what you can say to your wife that would hurt her the most, do you choose to say that thing and hurt her? Also, when your 2 yr-old son poops on the floor, do you get angry, or laugh it off? (This actually happened yesterday, but I was excited because it was his first time not in his diaper!)
In fact, even if your impatience is not directed at your wife or children it can still have a negative impact. For example, there have been so many times where I've been playing basketball, driving, or even watching sports on TV when I've done something out of anger or frustration. This is huge disappointment and embarrassment to my wife.
What can we do to improve it? believe me, I have tried many things to improve my patience, so let me share with you two things that I have found to help. It is a difficult road, I am still walking down it, but these things have helped:
Now, I'm not talking about the kind of impatience that causes anger leading to spouse or child abuse, I'll leave that to the professionals. What I am talking about is impatience leading to raising your voice or saying things "in the heat of the moment" that you will regret later. You all know what you can say to your wife that would hurt her the most, do you choose to say that thing and hurt her? Also, when your 2 yr-old son poops on the floor, do you get angry, or laugh it off? (This actually happened yesterday, but I was excited because it was his first time not in his diaper!)
In fact, even if your impatience is not directed at your wife or children it can still have a negative impact. For example, there have been so many times where I've been playing basketball, driving, or even watching sports on TV when I've done something out of anger or frustration. This is huge disappointment and embarrassment to my wife.
What can we do to improve it? believe me, I have tried many things to improve my patience, so let me share with you two things that I have found to help. It is a difficult road, I am still walking down it, but these things have helped:
- Pray for patience - Many people need help being patient. When you get angry, you feel powerless to control it. God can give us this power.
- Give yourself a "timeout" - I actually learned this from my wife (she uses it very successfully) when you feel angry, but before you act on it, get away from the situation. Do everything you can to remove yourself from the source of your anger....temporarily. Come back in a few minutes when you feel confident you will behave appropriately.
Friday, June 25, 2010
Date Your Wife: Movie Night at Home
The Date: This weekend we are planning on doing a free (or close to free) movie night at home! We will probably rent a movie via Redbox and make our favorite movie snack: popcorn with M&Ms. After our son is in bed we will snuggle up on the couch with our goodies and enjoy the show! This is probably my favorite cheap date. Not sure what movie we will watch, it probably depends on what the Redbox has, but when your trying to impress your wife, you can't go wrong with a chick-flick. Also, since this doesn't allow a lot of conversation, we'll be sure to add pillow talk after the movie.
The Challenge: Why not have a movie night with your wife this weekend? Its easy, inexpensive, doesn't require a babysitter, and a lot of fun! To take it a step further, rent a movie she's been wanting to see and/or surprise her with her favorite movie snack. Let me know your date plans for this weekend in the comments!
The Cost: $0 -$5. This date is very affordable. A dollar for the movie (if you go with Redbox) and a couple dollars for the snack!
Update: I was so excited for this date we ended up doing is last night! We rented Invictus and had some popcorn and Root Beer. It was a really fun time to spend with my wife and relax and unwind together. The best part? it was only $1.50!
Click here for more info about the Date Your Wife series
Last Week's Date: Sprint Triathlon
The Challenge: Why not have a movie night with your wife this weekend? Its easy, inexpensive, doesn't require a babysitter, and a lot of fun! To take it a step further, rent a movie she's been wanting to see and/or surprise her with her favorite movie snack. Let me know your date plans for this weekend in the comments!
The Cost: $0 -$5. This date is very affordable. A dollar for the movie (if you go with Redbox) and a couple dollars for the snack!
Update: I was so excited for this date we ended up doing is last night! We rented Invictus and had some popcorn and Root Beer. It was a really fun time to spend with my wife and relax and unwind together. The best part? it was only $1.50!
Click here for more info about the Date Your Wife series
Last Week's Date: Sprint Triathlon
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
A Trend Towards More Women and Moms in the Workforce
I came across an article recently that got my attention from The Atlantic titled "The End of Men." This title naturally got my attention, so I dove in to see what I could find.
The article is VERY long, and I didn't have 4 hours to read all of it so I only got about half-way through. But, unless there was a big "JK" at the end of the article, I don't think I missed anything. I will say, however, that many interesting statistics were provided and the trend of more women in the workforce is impossible to refute, but I believe she takes it a bit too far. Here are a few of my reactions to it...
"With few exceptions, the greater the power of women, the greater the country’s economic success."
I don't care what numbers she's looking at, implying that women having more power in an economy causes success is a stretch. Could it be that when an economy is more successful it provides more opportunities for woman to have power by shifting jobs from labor to intellectual industries without consideration of which gender has more power?
I believe Men and Woman are equal. However, I believe God has given us different inherent qualities that provides balance in the family, which the article wrongly categorizes as "old stereotypes and habits." For example, men were given competitiveness to be able to provide for their family, and women, patience to nurture and care for their children (not to mention a higher tolerance for pain for childbirth!). I am not opposed to women in the workforce, but this article seemed to belittle men and lessen their importance in the economy and society!
The article is VERY long, and I didn't have 4 hours to read all of it so I only got about half-way through. But, unless there was a big "JK" at the end of the article, I don't think I missed anything. I will say, however, that many interesting statistics were provided and the trend of more women in the workforce is impossible to refute, but I believe she takes it a bit too far. Here are a few of my reactions to it...
"With few exceptions, the greater the power of women, the greater the country’s economic success."
I don't care what numbers she's looking at, implying that women having more power in an economy causes success is a stretch. Could it be that when an economy is more successful it provides more opportunities for woman to have power by shifting jobs from labor to intellectual industries without consideration of which gender has more power?
I believe Men and Woman are equal. However, I believe God has given us different inherent qualities that provides balance in the family, which the article wrongly categorizes as "old stereotypes and habits." For example, men were given competitiveness to be able to provide for their family, and women, patience to nurture and care for their children (not to mention a higher tolerance for pain for childbirth!). I am not opposed to women in the workforce, but this article seemed to belittle men and lessen their importance in the economy and society!
Monday, June 21, 2010
Top 5 Things Every New Husband Should Know
Happy Summer!
Since today is the first day of summer and wedding season is already in full swing, I thought I would would share my list of 5 lessons every new husband should know:
#1 - Love is a choice - This is a difficult one to accept. I didn't want to believe it, thinking/hoping the honeymoon feeling will last forever, but it does not! As time goes on a concerted effort most be made to love your wife. Find out how your wife best feels love and continually tell and show her that you love her.
#2 - Marriage is like a roller coaster - When I got married I was told there will be arguments and contention, but I was so naive that I thought "why does there have to be any fighting?...not in my marriage!" However, I found this to be unrealistic very quickly. Contention comes and goes in waves, and so do challenges with money, health, and parenting; so have patience and enjoy the ride.
#3 - From "me" to "us" - In reality, its from "me" to "her." You are now living your life for your wife and family. Every decision you make, you must consider impacts on your family. Its no longer what you want for dinner, or what you want to watch, etc, its what "we" want. And I would suggest more often than not, its what she wants, because they should get their way most of the time!
#4 - Finance 101 - Money can very easily cause contention in marriage. It is very important early on to have honest and open dialogue about hows this is gong to work in your marriage: joint account? who pays the bills? etc... If you are like most Americans, you will also go through times of financial instability, during these times develop flexible and specific budgets, and be honest with your wife about purchases.
#5 - Sacrifices - When you are married you must make sacrifices for you wife. One small example of a sacrifice is leisure time activities. Now, I believe it is important for you to have your separate hobbies, but, we must make sure our wife's needs are being met first; you will probably play less golf when you are married. You now serve your wife, she is number one, your ultimate goal is for her to be happy. You do what it takes to make that happen.
Did I miss anything? What advice would you give for a newly married husband?
Since today is the first day of summer and wedding season is already in full swing, I thought I would would share my list of 5 lessons every new husband should know:
#1 - Love is a choice - This is a difficult one to accept. I didn't want to believe it, thinking/hoping the honeymoon feeling will last forever, but it does not! As time goes on a concerted effort most be made to love your wife. Find out how your wife best feels love and continually tell and show her that you love her.
#2 - Marriage is like a roller coaster - When I got married I was told there will be arguments and contention, but I was so naive that I thought "why does there have to be any fighting?...not in my marriage!" However, I found this to be unrealistic very quickly. Contention comes and goes in waves, and so do challenges with money, health, and parenting; so have patience and enjoy the ride.
#3 - From "me" to "us" - In reality, its from "me" to "her." You are now living your life for your wife and family. Every decision you make, you must consider impacts on your family. Its no longer what you want for dinner, or what you want to watch, etc, its what "we" want. And I would suggest more often than not, its what she wants, because they should get their way most of the time!
#4 - Finance 101 - Money can very easily cause contention in marriage. It is very important early on to have honest and open dialogue about hows this is gong to work in your marriage: joint account? who pays the bills? etc... If you are like most Americans, you will also go through times of financial instability, during these times develop flexible and specific budgets, and be honest with your wife about purchases.
#5 - Sacrifices - When you are married you must make sacrifices for you wife. One small example of a sacrifice is leisure time activities. Now, I believe it is important for you to have your separate hobbies, but, we must make sure our wife's needs are being met first; you will probably play less golf when you are married. You now serve your wife, she is number one, your ultimate goal is for her to be happy. You do what it takes to make that happen.
Did I miss anything? What advice would you give for a newly married husband?
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Happy Father's Day!
I just wanted to throw up a quick post to all father's out there, Happy Father's day!
A Father is so important in the life of a child. A large part of who I am today is a result of my father. In fact, I still look to my father frequently for life advice. The importance of fatherhood is one reason why I started this blog; It's not enough just to be a father, but our goal should be to always become a "Better Father"...no matter how good we think we are.
For additional thoughts on fathers, please see the following posts:
Fathers and Husbands as Spiritual Leaders in the Home
My Top 5 Way to be a Better Father
So, Thanks for stopping by and having the desire to become a Better Father for your children and Happy Father's Day!
A Father is so important in the life of a child. A large part of who I am today is a result of my father. In fact, I still look to my father frequently for life advice. The importance of fatherhood is one reason why I started this blog; It's not enough just to be a father, but our goal should be to always become a "Better Father"...no matter how good we think we are.
For additional thoughts on fathers, please see the following posts:
Fathers and Husbands as Spiritual Leaders in the Home
My Top 5 Way to be a Better Father
So, Thanks for stopping by and having the desire to become a Better Father for your children and Happy Father's Day!
Friday, June 18, 2010
Date Your Wife: Sprint Triathlon
The Date: Tomorrow is our Sprint Triathlon. I did this one last year and this is the first one for my wife! We have been planning this "date" for about a year now. We have been training and getting ourselves ready and we are very excited to be participating in this race.
Most importantly, we are doing this together; we signed up for the non-competitive category and will be racing along side each other all the way! I think this has already brought us closer together as a couple. We set a mutual goal and have supported each other and worked hard to accomplish it. Unfortunately, my wife's morning sickness started this week, but she is tough and is fighting through it to accomplish this goal.
The Challenge: A Triathlon obviously requires planning, well in advance, so why not go for a run together this weekend? go to the gym? a long walk? Support and encourage each other to go harder than you think you can. This can be a very fun date! Let me know your date plans for this weekend in the comments!
The Cost: Our Triathlon was $75/person, plus some additional equipment. Most exercise dates are absolutely free!
Update: What a fun morning at the triathlon we had! We were prepared for cold water in the lake, but it was VERY COLD! Once we got over that we had such a great time. We were able to cheer each other on, and just enjoy each others company while swimming, biking, and running. It was so much fun to support my wife on her first triathlon, and accomplish our goal together. How was your date this weekend?
(Click here for more info about the Date Your Wife series)
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Date Your Wife: An Introduction
Introducing a new weekly series at Better Husbands and Fathers... Date Your Wife!
The Date Your Wife series will consist of a weekly Friday post with a single date idea for the upcoming weekend. It is my intention that my wife and I will then go on that date over the weekend and I will update the post with how it went.
In addition, you will also be challenged to also take part in the week's specified date (or something similar) with your wife, or make your own plans and share them with everyone in the comments! My goal is to encourage more spousal dating. With enough participation this can be a valuable resource for husbands to be Better Husbands by dating their wives each week.
Stay tuned tomorrow morning for the first installment!
PS - In the future I hope to incorporate giveaways for Date Your Wife participants, but still trying to figure that out and work it into my limited budget.
The Date Your Wife series will consist of a weekly Friday post with a single date idea for the upcoming weekend. It is my intention that my wife and I will then go on that date over the weekend and I will update the post with how it went.
In addition, you will also be challenged to also take part in the week's specified date (or something similar) with your wife, or make your own plans and share them with everyone in the comments! My goal is to encourage more spousal dating. With enough participation this can be a valuable resource for husbands to be Better Husbands by dating their wives each week.
Stay tuned tomorrow morning for the first installment!
PS - In the future I hope to incorporate giveaways for Date Your Wife participants, but still trying to figure that out and work it into my limited budget.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Father's Day Expectations
Happy Fathers Day to all you "Better Fathers" out there!
As I was thinking about the upcoming Fathers day, I started considering the differences between Mother's Day and Father's Day. To me, and to most, Father's day pales in comparison to Mother's Day. I have even heard it said that Mother's day gift buying is second only to Christmas (though I can't back that up). It got me thinking about how people celebrate their Fathers on this day, and what Fathers expect. it leads me to the following question: What are your expectations on Father's Day?
Here's mine...
As a Father, I do not feel the need to have a special day to recognize the role that I have (this does not mean, however, that I won't welcome the break from cooking or doing the dishes!). I do what I do because I love my family and because its what I believe I'm supposed to do. I need no special recognition for doing what I'm supposed to.
Since my son is only 2 yrs old, I view any father's day "pampering" simply as a statement of love from my wife, which are, of course, always welcome. I don't expect any gifts and have made a deal with my wife for her not to purchase any, all I expect is a smile, a kiss, and a thank you from both my son and wife! That would make my day!
As I was thinking about the upcoming Fathers day, I started considering the differences between Mother's Day and Father's Day. To me, and to most, Father's day pales in comparison to Mother's Day. I have even heard it said that Mother's day gift buying is second only to Christmas (though I can't back that up). It got me thinking about how people celebrate their Fathers on this day, and what Fathers expect. it leads me to the following question: What are your expectations on Father's Day?
Here's mine...
As a Father, I do not feel the need to have a special day to recognize the role that I have (this does not mean, however, that I won't welcome the break from cooking or doing the dishes!). I do what I do because I love my family and because its what I believe I'm supposed to do. I need no special recognition for doing what I'm supposed to.
Since my son is only 2 yrs old, I view any father's day "pampering" simply as a statement of love from my wife, which are, of course, always welcome. I don't expect any gifts and have made a deal with my wife for her not to purchase any, all I expect is a smile, a kiss, and a thank you from both my son and wife! That would make my day!
Monday, June 14, 2010
Good News! Baby #2 on the way!
After being told it may be difficult to become pregnant again my wife, Lisa, and I decided to start giving it a shot. To our surprise, 2 weeks later we found out that SHE IS PREGNANT (2 weeks ago). While the ease of getting pregnant was a bit of a surprise, it was a very welcome one. We are very excited, but a bit nervous to see what this pregnancy brings...here's why...
Early in her pregnancy with our only child, Joshua, Lisa was diagnosed with a Bicornuate, or heart-shaped uterus, and we were told that the odds were against us that she would carry him full-term. Sure enough the trouble started at 15 weeks gestation and continued off and on until she was about 27 weeks along. At about 27 weeks, she was admitted into the hospital on bed-rest rest due to a bleeding and contractions. She was in and out of the hospital until one day while she was in the hospital an emergency C-Section was deemed necessary. She was only 29 weeks and 6 days gestation. This was very scary for us and many prayers were uttered and tears shed. Although at about 30 weeks, his chances of survival in our day and age was pretty good, it comes with a lot of risks and potential side-effects. This is Joshua at 4 days old, he needed a little help breathing with CPAP, and 40 days in the NICU, but overall was born a healthy little boy at 3 lbs 12 oz.
You can understand now, why a new pregnancy brings back the experiences of the first and with it a lot of emotions. Its daunting to think we will probably have similar experiences with Baby #2 and can only hope that it also has a similar happy ending. Here is Joshua at 2 years old, he has caught up with his size, and the only effect of his prematurity is that he is far-sighted, so he just got the cutest glasses!
Joshua's journey to earth made our marriage stronger as we had to lean on each other for emotional and physical support. God also taught us many important lessons through those trials, one being how miraculous the pregnancy process is and another how much a child can bless our lives. While there were some postive lessons learned, we would definitely be grateful for a nice smooth, full-term, 2nd pregnancy!
So, wish me luck and let me know, in the comments, what to expect with 2! Also, any other fathers of Preemies out there? Whats your story?
Early in her pregnancy with our only child, Joshua, Lisa was diagnosed with a Bicornuate, or heart-shaped uterus, and we were told that the odds were against us that she would carry him full-term. Sure enough the trouble started at 15 weeks gestation and continued off and on until she was about 27 weeks along. At about 27 weeks, she was admitted into the hospital on bed-rest rest due to a bleeding and contractions. She was in and out of the hospital until one day while she was in the hospital an emergency C-Section was deemed necessary. She was only 29 weeks and 6 days gestation. This was very scary for us and many prayers were uttered and tears shed. Although at about 30 weeks, his chances of survival in our day and age was pretty good, it comes with a lot of risks and potential side-effects. This is Joshua at 4 days old, he needed a little help breathing with CPAP, and 40 days in the NICU, but overall was born a healthy little boy at 3 lbs 12 oz.
So, wish me luck and let me know, in the comments, what to expect with 2! Also, any other fathers of Preemies out there? Whats your story?
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Do Opposites Attract?
After spending all week with my wife this past week in Florida and the Bahamas, I realized more than ever how different we are from each other. You know, music preferences in the car, food tastes, interests, what do to with free time, etc. and it has only brought us closer!
While this has been frustrating at times in the past, how great it is to have somebody by your side to "complete you" to be everything you're not and to motivate you to get out of your comfort zone. I am grateful for my wife for playing that role. For example, my idea of a perfect vacation is to travel to see places and do things, while she would be more than happy sitting on a beach for a week straight relaxing. She probably wanted to relax more this past week than we did, but she did slow me down and helped me realize I don't always have to be going 100 mph.
I do believe the phrase "Opposites Attract" applies to marriage. Husbands, when we are stressed out at work (or home) we may not be able to see how wonderful these differences are, and you may see them as a cause for contention (I have). Just remember, God has established these differences in your marriage to make each of you better people; So, learn from each other, support each other, and make your differences productive!
What do you think...Do opposites attract? does it cause contention? or are you able to make your differences productive?
PS- Having no access to a computer was probably the best thing to happen to me during our vacation! you don't realize how much time you spend on a computer until you can't use one for a while, but I am looking forward to being more active on the blog again!
While this has been frustrating at times in the past, how great it is to have somebody by your side to "complete you" to be everything you're not and to motivate you to get out of your comfort zone. I am grateful for my wife for playing that role. For example, my idea of a perfect vacation is to travel to see places and do things, while she would be more than happy sitting on a beach for a week straight relaxing. She probably wanted to relax more this past week than we did, but she did slow me down and helped me realize I don't always have to be going 100 mph.
I do believe the phrase "Opposites Attract" applies to marriage. Husbands, when we are stressed out at work (or home) we may not be able to see how wonderful these differences are, and you may see them as a cause for contention (I have). Just remember, God has established these differences in your marriage to make each of you better people; So, learn from each other, support each other, and make your differences productive!
What do you think...Do opposites attract? does it cause contention? or are you able to make your differences productive?
PS- Having no access to a computer was probably the best thing to happen to me during our vacation! you don't realize how much time you spend on a computer until you can't use one for a while, but I am looking forward to being more active on the blog again!
Monday, June 7, 2010
Marriage Without Fidelity!?!
I recently came across an article from The Washington Post which had "humans aren't naturally monogamous" in it's title, check it out and you won't believe what you read.
I can't even describe how strongly I disagree with this article and the author of the book "Sex at Dawn." While I am no PhD, I know that God established the sanctity of marriage and infidelity is not "natural," but occurs when one gives into the temptations of Satan.
At one point the the article states "Ryan's hope is that the book will prompt readers to question their beliefs about monogamy." Unfortunately all this does is give men excuses to have extramarital affairs, which there is no excuse for.
Plus, any Marriage theory inspired from the Clinton's has got to have its flaws.
What do you think about Ryan's theory?
I can't even describe how strongly I disagree with this article and the author of the book "Sex at Dawn." While I am no PhD, I know that God established the sanctity of marriage and infidelity is not "natural," but occurs when one gives into the temptations of Satan.
At one point the the article states "Ryan's hope is that the book will prompt readers to question their beliefs about monogamy." Unfortunately all this does is give men excuses to have extramarital affairs, which there is no excuse for.
Plus, any Marriage theory inspired from the Clinton's has got to have its flaws.
What do you think about Ryan's theory?
Friday, June 4, 2010
Vacationing Without the kid(s)!!
As you read this, my wife and I are cruising the Bahamas! It is a much needed break from the stress of life. Including a break from the stress of parenting our 2 yr old son. That's right, we ditched him with his grandparents and took off for a week long vacation.
Can we afford it? not really, but we really believe that this sort of couple time is extremely important for the well-being of the marriage. While, I don't advocate going into debt for a vacation, I do advocate doing fun things where you get to spend extra time getting to know your bride all over again - without the kid(s)! We will have no distractions from focusing on each other the entire week and we are sure looking forward to it!
Can we afford it? not really, but we really believe that this sort of couple time is extremely important for the well-being of the marriage. While, I don't advocate going into debt for a vacation, I do advocate doing fun things where you get to spend extra time getting to know your bride all over again - without the kid(s)! We will have no distractions from focusing on each other the entire week and we are sure looking forward to it!
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Wife or Children?
If you've read much of my blog before, you might be are aware that I view the relationship men have with their wives above their relationship with their children. I thought I would dedicate a post to share my thoughts on this topic.
Obviously both being a good father and husband is important, or I would not have dedicated a blog to both relationships. However, your wife is more important than your children! I say this not to take away from the relationship between father and child, but only to stress the importance of the sacred relationship that is marriage. Your children will grow, move out, create family of their own within the marriage relationship. Marriage is the foundation of life. Children are great, but they too turn to marriage.
Often in pop culture or entertainment we see people neglecting their spouse to be with their children, because their children are the most important people in their lives. In reality your spouse is, or should be, the most important person in your life (on earth!). So husbands, treat your wives like it!. This is one reason I started this blog, to create dialogue and share ideas, because I want to nurture my wife and make her happier than she ever imagined she could be!
Obviously both being a good father and husband is important, or I would not have dedicated a blog to both relationships. However, your wife is more important than your children! I say this not to take away from the relationship between father and child, but only to stress the importance of the sacred relationship that is marriage. Your children will grow, move out, create family of their own within the marriage relationship. Marriage is the foundation of life. Children are great, but they too turn to marriage.
Often in pop culture or entertainment we see people neglecting their spouse to be with their children, because their children are the most important people in their lives. In reality your spouse is, or should be, the most important person in your life (on earth!). So husbands, treat your wives like it!. This is one reason I started this blog, to create dialogue and share ideas, because I want to nurture my wife and make her happier than she ever imagined she could be!
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